(I have stopped at a department store to buy just a couple of small items, so I don’t grab a basket or cart, but then I also pick up a couple of more things I see that I can use, so my hands are full. I am walking to the register holding my items. I am about to pass a woman pushing a fully-loaded shopping cart in the opposite direction while she is talking with another woman, when she suddenly swerves and turns the cart sideways in the aisle directly in front of me, so close that I have to step back to keep from getting run into. She is directly between two large displays.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “Oh, sorry. Excuse me!”

(She then walks away with her friend to look at a display that they have already passed, leaving the cart sideways in front of me blocking the aisle! As my hands are full, I can’t easily move the cart out of the way.)

Me: “Excuse me. Could you please move the cart?”

(The woman glances my way but continues talking with her friend, ignoring me. Using my foot and body to move the heavy cart a bit, I manage to squeeze by to continue to the front of the store. I’ve just taken a few steps.)

Woman: *yelling* “Hey! Why did you move my cart? You didn’t take anything, did you? Hey, I’m talking to you!”

(I glanced at her but kept walking, half expecting her to come after me, but she just stood there, cart still blocking the aisle, and resumed her conversation with her companion, now loudly complaining about rude people.)

Customer: “I’m not getting much today, since I’ve got a whole case of Mexican coke in my trunk.”

(I assume it’s a joke in poor taste and smile awkwardly.)

Me: “I’m not sure I’d go bragging about that!”

Customer: “Oh… OH! No! I have Coca-Cola!”

(I’ve just clocked out and left the back room, which is behind the deli counter. I’m still wearing my uniform, but my jacket is over it and my name tag is off. An old man near the counter immediately starts yelling at me.)

Old Man: “Finally! I’ve been waiting for someone to serve me for ten minutes! Where do you think you’re going?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m off the clock.”

Old Man: *sarcastically* “Well, good for you! You work here; you have to serve me!”

Me: *smiling as sweetly as I can* “Well, sir, it’s entirely illegal for me to work while off the clock. In fact, I could be fired for doing so. I may even get in trouble if I continue talking to you, I think. Bye, now.”

(I walked out the door. I probably would have taken a moment to find one of my coworkers for the guy if he’d been mildly polite.)

(I am a tom-boyish girl who prefers to wear jeans and a hoodie wherever I go, mainly because I have a certain body shape that most boys at my school like to… look at. My dad asks me to go to the store to buy a few things. I’m looking at the candy aisle because my dad asked for me to pick up some chocolate. I have just grabbed the chocolate when a woman suddenly comes up to me with an accusing look, grabs the chocolate from me, and starts yelling at me.)

Woman: “You wretch! Why are you grabbing that?! Are you planning to take that without paying?! To take things when you could be paying with normal money?!”

Me: *extremely confused* “Lady, what are you talking about? I’m going to pay for it!” *leaning down to pick up the chocolate*

Woman: “Take off that hoodie immediately, young man! You aren’t homeless! And what is that you’re hiding under there?!” *points at my chest* “Lettuce?!”

(I start to get that the woman thinks I’m stealing, just because I have a hoodie on. I start to get angry, embarrassed, and self-conscious because customers are starting to look at us.)

Me: “Lady, I’m wearing a hoodie because I want to! I’m not stealing anything! I’m going to pay for this stuff, including the chocolate!”

Woman: “BULLS***!”

(The woman then throws my things on the ground and stomps on them, then tries to empty my pockets to see if I stole anything else. I pull off my hoodie to reveal the “lettuce heads” I had been hiding under my shirt near my chest. I am crying now, and calling for help because I am now genuinely scared for my life. The woman is completely surprised to find that I don’t have lettuce under my hoodie, but instead, a certain body part that women have as they mature. The woman turns bright red as I start to yell at her.)

Me: “LADY! I’M A TEENAGE GIRL WHO WEARS HOODIES BECAUSE I HAVE BIG BOOBS THAT I AM SELF-CONSCIOUS OF! I AM NOT TRYING TO STEAL ANYTHING! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!”

(The woman was completely speechless and bright red. Just then, my dad and several employees came up and managed to pull the woman off of me. They locked her in the employee break room before calling the police. The woman was arrested, we pressed charges for assault and sexual assault, we got a discount on our items, and I started to wear even thicker and larger hoodies in hopes that this would never happen to me again.)

(My family goes out to eat at a higher-end and expensive chain restaurant known for fondue. About halfway through the meal, the server comes up to us.)

Server: “Is there anything else I can bring you?”

Dad: *jokingly* “How about a free lobster tail?”

(The server just laughed, but a few minutes later, she returned… with a free lobster tail! Turns out that she’d made an extra for another table by mistake and was just going to throw it out if not for my dad’s silly request.)