My husband and I are expecting our second child. We are waiting until birth to find out baby’s sex. I’m thrifty and am trying to find some of the baby items we want secondhand. I find some really good deals and am sharing my excitement with my mother-in-law. 

Me: “I ended up finding someone just giving away the baby carrier I was looking for and two of the swaddles for under $10 total at a consignment store.”

Mother-In-Law: “Nice. Are they a gender-neutral color?”

Me: “The carrier’s an Oxford blue and the swaddles are a baby blue.”

She makes a tutting sound. 

Me: “What?”

Mother-In-Law: “What are you going to do if you have a girl?”

Me: “What do you mean? I’m going to use them.”

Mother-In-Law: “Blue is a boy’s color. You can’t use those if you have a girl.”

Me: “I don’t care if they were all pink and we had a boy. I’d still use them. The carrier was free and the swaddles were 85% off the cost they normally are. It’s just a color. Baby won’t care.”

Mother-In-Law: *Looking annoyed* “You need a gender-neutral color, instead.”

Me: “Tell you what. If we have a girl, you are more than welcome to spend the $150 dollars to buy everything in the color you deem fit.”

She dropped it after that and I stopped sharing information with her.

CONTENT WARNING: Needles

I’ve had a chronic illness since I was a baby, which has caused me to experience a lot of medical tests and treatments. When I was thirteen, I had a medical event and started breathing abnormally. My mom had to call 911, and I was taken to a children’s hospital. I was immediately admitted and put in a private room. I had a few tests, was put on oxygen, and was hooked up to a bunch of monitors. Then, a new nurse came in.

Nurse: *Visibly nervous* “Hi. I’m going to take some blood today.”

Me: “Okay, it’s no problem. I’m used to bloodwork and stuff.”

The nurse continued to look uncomfortable and started shuffling around the room, getting out supplies. I noticed that the needle he pulled out was really unusual, as it was extremely large and wasn’t an IV needle, which is what is usually used for blood work when someone is admitted to a hospital.

He sat down, and I could see that his hands were shaking violently. He put a large white towel under my arm and cleaned my entire arm with orange antiseptic, the kind used for surgical sites.

Me: “Why are you using that? Why not just use the regular alcohol wipes?”

He didn’t answer but started putting a tourniquet on my arm and handed me a stress ball.

Nurse: “Squeeze that as hard as you can.”

The nurse unwrapped the needle and I could fully see the size of it. It was enormous, and my heart started pounding. I’d never seen a needle like it, despite having constant IVs and blood draws throughout my life.

The nurse was now trembling like a leaf in the wind.

Nurse: “This is going to hurt… a lot. Stay still; that’s really important. Don’t move at all, even if it hurts.”

Me: “Okay…”

I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on or why a simple blood draw would hurt so badly.

Nurse: “Breathe in… and out…”

As I let my breath out, the nurse (still with shaking hands) held my wrist down and plunged the needle into my forearm. It was put in at a strange angle, pretty much at a full ninety degrees, and was stuck in very deep and forcefully. I was immediately overwhelmed with pain, my vision started tunneling, and it took every molecule of effort I had not to move or scream. It seemed like it took forever, but eventually, the tubes filled with blood and he pulled the needle out. Then, he just bandaged my arm and left, without acknowledging anything that had just happened.

I was fully weirded out by the entire experience. I was certain, at the time, that the nurse was incompetent or something, especially since he seemed so nervous.

It wasn’t until a full eight years later that I found out what even happened! I recently requested a copy of my records from that hospital and saw the write-up from that visit. I was floored to see that the test they were actually performing was an arterial blood gas (ABS)! In the test, a large needle is put straight into an artery, and it is considered to be extremely painful — so painful that it is unethical to perform it on anyone without giving them local anesthetic first. Not only was I not given local anesthetic (AS A CHILD AT A CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL), but nobody bothered to even explain what was going to happen, what test they were performing, or that it was any different than a regular blood draw or IV.

It truly was one of the most memorable (and horrible) things I’ve ever experienced in a medical setting, and I never went back to that hospital.

I’ve had a severe chronic illness since I was a baby. Due to this, growing up, I spent a lot of time in different hospitals and medical offices and have had a wide variety of treatments and tests.

When I was around ten years old, I was due to have an MRI of my brain. I was pretty nervous about it, especially since I needed IV contrast and wasn’t sure how I’d handle the whole “laying super still in a confined space for several hours” thing. There was also a layer of extra anxiety for me, since they were looking for brain cancer.

I was also told before the appointment that I could bring a few DVD movies which could be played for me to watch during the scan to keep me calm and distracted.

Nurse: “Hello! So, you’re here for an MRI, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Okay, go ahead into the changing room to put on your gown, and make sure to leave all your belongings in there, too. When you’re ready, go through the door on the other side, and that’ll lead you right into the MRI room. Oh, also, did you bring any movies to play during the scan?”

Me: “Yes, they’re here.”

I handed them to her and then went into the changing room. After I put on my gown, I pushed my way through the door to the MRI room and was immediately rendered speechless. The walls of the room seemed to be made of wall-to-ceiling digital screens, and playing on the screens was a scene of the ocean with fish darting around and whales floating by. On top of that, the MRI machine had been turned a blue color to match the scenery.

I was totally surprised and just went to pieces, smiling and crying, and I could feel my anxiety and nerves melting away. One of the nurses was sort of hovering nearby and watching my reaction.

Me: “How…?”

Nurse: “Since this is a children’s hospital, the screens were put in to help children feel better about getting scans done, and to reduce the number of kids that need to be sedated.”

Me: “Wow, but… how did you know that I love the ocean?”

Nurse: “Well, we noticed that all three of the movies you gave us were about the ocean, so we assumed that you like the water and that seeing the fish might help you feel calmer.”

Me: “Gosh, thank you so much! I hadn’t even noticed that all of my movies were about the ocean!”

The scenery did make me feel better, and I wasn’t nervous at all after seeing it. I managed to last the entire MRI without freaking out or moving and was able to see the scenery and my movies through a small mirror inside the helmet that I had to wear during the scan.

Honestly, the kindness of those nurses left a huge impact on me, and I consider it to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I still think about it now, as an adult, especially since most hospital nurses are overworked and have chaotic schedules. I know that noticing a tiny detail about me, and then intentionally going out of their way to help me feel better was immeasurably kind. I’ve had many MRIs after this, none of them with the special screens and effects, but I’ve never felt nervous about them, and I think it’s because my first MRI wasn’t nearly as traumatizing as it could have been.

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 14
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 13
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 12
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 11
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 10

My husband and I temporarily lived with his parents for a few months while we waited to be able to move into our new place. We did pay them rent, and I helped with cleaning and cooking while my husband helped with projects around their house. A majority of our belongings were in storage. 

Father-In-Law: “Hey, do you still have that fancy blender you got for a wedding present?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Father-In-Law: “I have a coworker who needs a blender, and since you’re not using it, I told him he could have it.”

Me: “Why did you do that? We’re not currently using it because it’s in the storage unit, but we will be using it once we move to the new place.”

Father-In-Law: “You’re not using it now, so you have no need for it anymore.”

Me: “We will be using it eventually. We’re not giving it away.”

Father-In-Law: “But I told him he could have it.”

Me: “Are you going to buy us a new one if we give ours away?”

Father-In-Law: “No.”

Me: “Well then, you’re going to have to untell him, because it wasn’t yours to give away.”

He later brought it up to my husband and my husband had the same response. He was ticked at us and ended up giving his coworker one of the blenders they owned, but he told us how we had embarrassed him when he had to give his coworker a lower-end blender. They tried a few more times to get us to give away our things to someone they knew. When we refused, they told us we were ungrateful. We were very happy once we were able to move out.

My uncle is in town and wants to take my parents, my husband, and me out for dinner. I am the first one to arrive at the restaurant along with my three-month-old, who is in an infant car seat. The restaurant is currently pretty empty. 

Me: “Hi there. I am waiting for my family to join me, who should be here soon, but is it possible to be seated while we wait for them so I can feed my daughter?”

Hostess: “That’s fine. How many people total?”

Me: “Five adults and one infant. Can we also please have a booth so I can set her next to me?”

She doesn’t say anything but grabs five menus and tells me to follow her. She takes me to a small table for four.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Is it actually possible to get a booth?”

Hostess: “Why?”

Me: “I have four other adults joining us, and I would like a spot to set my daughter next to me.”

Hostess: “Can’t you just get another chair and set her on the ground?”

Me: “I’d really prefer not to.”

She stares at me for a while before saying that she’ll be back. She comes back with the manager.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Hostess: “She’s unhappy with where I set her.”

Me: “I was just wondering if it’s possible to get a booth. There’s going to be a total of five adults, and I would like to set my daughter next to me rather than on the floor.”

Hostess: “I told her she could just get another chair.”

Manager: *Looks confused* “Yes, of course, you can have a booth. I apologize for the misunderstanding.”

Hostess: “But I told her she could just get another chair!”

The manager rubs the bridge of his nose and looks annoyed.

Manager: “Just go back to the front, [Hostess].”