(A woman walks up to the register with four pages out of four different books: a Grisham, a Kinsella, a King, and a Straub.)
Me: “Did you find these pages loose?”
Customer: “No, I ripped them out. I want to buy them for ten cents per page. Is that okay?”
Me: *shocked* “Um, no!”
Customer: *turns and leaves the store*
(On this particular day, we’ve received a new product. They’re outdoor lamps—the kind you actually have to mount to a wall and tie into your home’s electric circuit, with built-in speakers. As I walk by, two employees are standing, just staring at them.)
Me: “What’s wrong, guys?”
Coworker #1: “We can’t get it open.”
Me: “What?”
Coworker #2: “We can’t figure out how you open it up when the lamp burns out.”
Me: “Okay, let me try…”
(After about twenty seconds of playing with it, I manage to pop the top off. It’s a strange maneuver, but it isn’t hard to figure out. Just as I pull it off, my manager walks over.)
Manager: “What’s going on?”
Coworker #1: “We were just trying to figure out how to fix the lamp if it burns out. Don’t worry—[My Name] got it open.”
Manager: “Jeez, guys! How many employees does it take to change a light bulb?”
Customer: *rushes into the store* “I need a battery.”
Me: “Sure, what type of battery do you need?”
Customer: “It’s for my home alarm system. It’s not working because the battery is dead.”
Me: “Okay, do you know what size or type of battery it uses?”
(I show him the various sizes: AA, AAA, C, 9 Volt, etc.)
Customer: “I don’t know. These all look the same.”
Me: “Could you bring in the one that is not working and I will match it up with the correct one to ensure you purchase the correct one?”
Customer: “You mean, bring the dead battery here?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “I can’t do that! It’s for my alarm system. If I take the battery out, it won’t work. The battery is dead, so my alarm is not working!” *leaves*
(This happened about six years ago when I was trying to spend my birthday money on comic books. A girl with a guide dog comes in all dressed up to pass in a resume. She gives it to the owner and smiles softly.)
Girl With Guide Dog: *to owner* “I was hoping you’d be hiring.”
Owner: *takes her resume* “How about you come in Wednesday at two for an interview?”
Girl With Guide Dog: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m hard of hearing. Would you mind facing me when you talk?”
Owner: *gruffly* “Nevermind. There are no openings. We just finished hiring.”
Girl With Guide Dog: *sadly* “Oh… thank you anyway.”
(Having overheard everything, ALL the customers in the store simultaneously left without buying anything. I haven’t been back since!)
(My coworker and I are standing in my department talking. An older lady comes up to my coworker.)
Customer: “Where can I find pants?”
Coworker: “I’m not sure, as I’m just a cashier. However, my coworker works in this department, so she can help you.” *motions to me*
Customer: “So you don’t know?”
Coworker: “No, I only work on cash.”
Customer: “So, there’s no one that can help me?”
Coworker: “This girl can help you.” *motions to me again* “She’s worked in this department a long time.”
Customer: “I want you to help me!”
Coworker: “Like I said, I work on cash. She works in this department, so she can help you.”
Customer: “I don’t want HER to help me.”
Coworker: “Well, she’s the only one working in this department today.”
Customer: “I guess no one can help me, then!” *storms off*
