A customer has brought in a huge wad of coupons, all of which have expired.
Me: “Sir, I can’t use any of these. I’m afraid I can’t honor any discounts.”
Customer: “Well, give me some new coupons, then!”
Me: “I don’t have any, sir. You have to buy our quarterly coupon book to—”
Customer: “Bah! All you care about is making a profit!”
Me: “Well… yes, sir.”
I don’t think he expected that honesty because he just blinked a couple of times and then left.
A customer is trying to pay with their debit card, but the PIN isn’t working.
Me: “Sir, not that I am trying to see what you’re entering into the pad, but I can see that you’re only putting in three figures. Your PIN will be four.”
Customer: “No, it’s always these three numbers. It’s on the card.”
Me: “It’s on the card?”
Customer: “Yes! The three numbers on the signature slip!”
Me: “Sir, that’s a security code, not your PIN. You have to come up with your PIN yourself and keep it secure. You never tell anyone what it is and it’s always a minimum of four numbers.”
Customer: “What? You mean I have to make the PIN myself?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “Well, can’t you make one up for me? I don’t want that much responsibility.”
Me: “That’s… not how that works, sir. You would need to talk to your bank about setting up your PIN for you if you don’t know it, and they can talk to you about security.”
Customer: “Fine! But this is bad customer service. You’re making me responsible for my own credit card and I don’t like it!”
Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 19
PIN-Headed, Part 18
PIN-Headed, Part 17
PIN-Headed, Part 16
PIN-Headed, Part 15
I used to work at a natural foods grocery store in a suburban area. We had a mix of hippy-type people, who tended to be easy to get along with, and entitled rich people.
A lady comes through my line.
Me: “Did you find everything you needed today?”
Customer: “The bakery was out of [fruit tart]. I’m really upset that you’ve gotten me addicted to them and then decide you don’t want to stock them consistently.”
I started laughing thinking she was joking and looked up to see her staring angrily at me.
She was not joking.
Related:
Never Joke With The Customers… Ever!, Part 2
Never Joke With The Customers… Ever!
A customer is short three cents on a “spend over $5 and get 10% off” deal.
Customer: “Ugh! Just apply the deal!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t. Maybe you could buy a pack of gum? They’re fifty cents, so your total would be $5.47, and with the 10% discount, your total would be $4.92. You’d be spending five cents less and get an extra pack of gum!”
Customer: “No! That’s a stupid idea!”
Instead, she ran over to the produce aisle, grabbed a leaf of lettuce, weighed it, and purchased it at the per-pound rate to hit exactly three cents. She walked off with a smug smile, leaving the single lettuce leaf behind.
I work the self-checkout registers at a grocery store. A sketchy-looking couple comes up with a fully-loaded double-wide cart. Our self-checkouts have a carousel with four bag racks and a small shelf above, and you aren’t supposed to take the bags off before you pay.
They ring up most of their stuff and start to take the bags off. My PDA starts going off because items are being removed.
Me: “Sorry, but you have to leave them on the scale, or else it locks up and you can’t scan anymore.”
Technically, I can press a button on the PDA and override it, but we aren’t supposed to. The lady scoffs and rolls her eyes as she put the bags back on, and then she starts taking them off again after I walk away. I end up just getting irritated and overriding the weight differences.
They finally get to the end of their order, which ends up being over $200, and they pay with food stamps. After they swipe their card, there’s still a small balance left, and they call me over for help. I look at my PDA and scroll through their order, and I see that they have a package of steamed seasoned shrimp.
Me: *Politely* “You aren’t allowed to buy hot food on EBT.”
Customer: *Starts pitching a fit* “We bought them raw and had them steamed!”
This is pretty much telling me they steamed them and priced them as raw shrimp, which you can get in big trouble for doing. I call my manager over and he tells her the same thing.
Customer: *Scoffs and rolls her eyes* “Take them, then! Void them off!”
I do, and I take them to the attendant station where I call the guy in the seafood department to come and take them back. I tell my manager what happened.
Manager: “We’ll just have to throw them away since it violates health code to rechill in-store-cooked seafood.”
Customer: “Well then, we’ll take them, since you’re just gonna trash them.”
I could tell how hard my manager was trying not to laugh. I’m pretty sure the couple called a few days later to complain.
