I had the pleasure of speaking to a guy who would make an obnoxious buzzer noise every time I suggested anything he didn’t like, instead of saying so like a human being.
Me: “So, how about we make the background light blue?”
Client: “EEEEHH.”
Me: “Um, all right. You seemed to like green?”
Client: “EEEHHH.”
Me: “…”
Luckily, the project fell through.
I was hired by a production company to do a series of event ads for placement in trains and public spaces. Right before we reach the final sign-off, an email arrives from the self-described “Very Creative” client with the subject line “One last change.”
Client: “That is better, thank you. I think we can make some space if we put ‘BOOK NOW’ in a smaller font, which means we can make the other copy a bit bigger. Also, rather than saying, ‘BOOK NOW,’ can we say, ‘BOOK NOW OR A KITTEN WILL DIE!’?”
Me: “…”
I recently took a job with a friend of a friend. I was guaranteed to work for the guy for one year after signing the contract with him. As a sign of good faith, he asked me to pick out a drawing tablet to use, stating he would reimburse me for the charges. I bought a tablet and worked on some of the concept art for the comic he wanted me to draw while we ironed out the contract. This was the agreement: for me to begin work one month before the contract started.
Then, a few days short of a month later, the client came to my apartment unannounced at 9:00 pm to check on my work. I wasn’t happy with his abrupt arrival, but I did agree to show him the concept art I had drawn for him.
Me: “This is my first drawing of the dragon you wanted. I have never drawn something like this before, so I assume that you’ll have some critiques for me.”
Client: “Phew! We have a ways to go!”
Me: “Well, this’ll be a good start for the revisions. What don’t you like about it?”
He proceeded to tell me that the dragon wasn’t skinny enough, but besides that, it was fine.
The next day, I called my friend who had set this whole thing up and asked when we were signing the contract.
Friend: “Well, I don’t think you should sign it.”
Me: “I just spent $400 on a tablet and a whole month creating designs for him. Why shouldn’t I sign it?”
Friend: “Because he decided he doesn’t want to work with someone who is unprofessional.”
Me: “How was I unprofessional?”
Friend: “He said that you got very offended when he said your dragon wasn’t right.”
Me: “I buy a $400 tablet that he says he will reimburse me for. I spend a month of my own time drawing concept art for him. He shows up unannounced at my home after dark demanding to see my work, and I’m the unprofessional one? Can I at least get my receipt back for the tablet? Maybe I can get my money back by returning it.”
Friend: “Oh, he lost the receipt. Sorry, man.”
I’m a freelance digital illustrator. I mostly work with illustrating children’s books, but I also do logos and T-shirt designs.
Recently, an older acquaintance of mine approached me on Facebook and asked me to design a business logo for them for pay. They wanted me to copy a pre-existing logo they had found on Google and tweak the text and minor things to make it their own.
Me: “I could do that, but I recommend that we deviate from that design as much as possible, or you could run into copyright issues.”
Client: “It’s just for a school project, so I don’t think we need to worry about copyright.”
Me: “Wait, a school project? This isn’t something you’re doing for homework, is it?”
Client: “The overall assignment is to create an art business. The logo is something I want to do to enhance the overall appearance. That’s why I don’t want you to put too much into it. Just something simple.”
I was shocked by this. Naturally, I wasn’t going to do someone’s art homework for pay, so I turned them down. They then mentioned that they were in a “Master Level” class and they would “give me credit” and that they would find “another artist to do it” if I didn’t accept. It didn’t change my mind.
Client: “Okay. It’s too bad because it would have been good PR for you.”
I unfriended them shortly after this.
I’m an animator currently working on projects for an internal children’s network at a medical center. I asked an intern:
Me: “Please send me the complete project files for [final project he worked on].”
I received a 14 GB zip… that contained a copy of his operating system.
