I’ve been designing a booth for a client that produces cement mixers. The entire booth was supposed to be related to cement in some way, so I made it look like the inside of a cement mixer.

The client was ecstatic. In the centre of the booth was a big round desk whose top was supposed to be blue because their logo was blue.

The client came to see the final draft.

Client: “I love it. It’s just, the blue on the table — can it be more of a yellowish blue?”

Me: “You mean green?”

Client: “No! I don’t mean green! I mean more of a yellowish blue!”

I opened the color palette and asked him to point to the color he wanted. His finger pointed at a light green.

Me: “That is green.”

Client: “NO! It is not! It is yellowish blue!”

So, I turned the tabletop “yellowish blue.” Of course, the next day, I got the request to bring the table back to its original color.

I’m about to launch a website that I’ve been working on for a client for about three months. The design comps were finalized and approved about two weeks in, and every subsequent conversation I’ve had with the client included her telling me (at least once) how much she loved the design and how excited she was about it.

The day before launch, I’m talking to the client on the phone trying to get the last bits of content from her.

Client: “Oh, I had one question about the colors.”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Client: “Well, those obviously aren’t the actual colors you’re using on the website, right? When will the real colors be in?”

Me: “Uh… you approved the design over two months ago.”

Client: “Right… but I’m talking about the colors.”

Me: “Color is a big part of what design is. So, those are the final colors.”

Client: “Oh, well, I hate those colors. Make everything blue.”

Logo designs were presented for a grassroots group dedicated to creating an alliance between local food producers and farmers.

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that the committee doesn’t find the logo designs inspiring. I wonder if you could give me some more guidance. All I have for feedback is that ‘they need more oomph.’”

Client: “Well, they’re just a little plain. Can’t you add a knife and fork? Or maybe a wheat sheaf? The group feels they need a little jazzing up. Anyway, we’re not really sure what we mean. But you’re the artist, so hopefully, this will help you refine it.”

Our museum is running a temporary exhibit of artworks from the 1800s. A woman comes over to me looking confused.

Customer: “I’ve been all over this place, and I can’t find the Mona Lisa!”

Me: “The Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci? That’s in Paris.”

Customer: “Paris, France?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I was told this was going to be an exhibit of old paintings! The Mona Lisa is an old painting! It should be here!”

Me: “We have lots of old paintings here, ma’am, but the Mona Lisa is the most famous painting in the world and is permanently on display at the Louvre in Paris, France.”

Customer: “That’s very misleading! If you’re going to have an exhibit of old paintings, you should have all of them!”

Me: “All the old paintings?”

Customer: “Yeah! It costs ten dollars to get in here, so you should have them all!”

Me: “How many ‘old paintings’ do you think there are, ma’am?”

Customer: “I don’t know, like fifty? Any more than that would be boring.”

Yes, she thought that all of human art history consisted of about fifty paintings.

Maybe fifty-one if you include the Mona Lisa.

I’m working on a browser game with cute, Disney-like anthropomorphic animals.

Client: “Oh, Jesus f***, we can’t have furries in our game. This is supposed to be a kid’s game!”

Me: “Uh… well, I based these on existing character designs. What makes them more… ‘furry’… than the other ones?”

Client: “Ugh, they just feel wrong. Make them over and make them less like people.”

I do, and a few days later, I give him more animal-like characters.

Client: “Now they’re just animals wearing clothing. You can’t just put a hat on a rabbit and give it a sword; no one’s going to believe it’s a warrior. It’s just a rabbit with a hat.”

Me: “Okay. So… you want them to look more like people, then?”

Client: “Of course! They’re supposed to be animal people! Not animals in clothes!”

I remake the characters again, and they end up looking more like the original artwork.

Client: “Ick, they look way too much like furries now. Gross. Remember, this is a kid’s game. They should look more like… I don’t know. Looney Tunes.”

Me: “Looney Tunes don’t match with any of the art that’s already been made, though.”

Client: “Eh, just change everything, then. Looney Tunes.”

So, I remake a bunch of art to look similar to “Looney Tunes”.

Client: “No, no, no. You can’t just have characters look like Looney Tunes; we’re going get sued for copyright infringement! What are you doing?”

Me: “You… You said to make them look like Looney Tunes…”

Client: “I would never say that. This is all wrong. Redo them. They need to look more like animals someone dressed in clothes.”

I quit shortly after.