(In the show ‘How I Met Your Mother’, smoking marijuana is often referred to as ‘eating sandwiches’.)

Brother: “Admit it. You only took the job at [sandwich shop] because when they said you get a free sandwich every shift, you thought they meant How I Met Your Mother-style sandwiches.”

Me: “Maybe. Hehe. I’m eating a sandwich.”

Brother: “At work, too. Tsk tsk.”

Me: “Everyone does it. My boss eats sandwiches in the store.”

Brother: “Unbelievable.”

Me: “He’s setting a terrible example. His wife does it too. I’ve even seen his kids eat sandwiches.”

Brother: “That’s just sad. Honestly, I’m surprised you don’t just go the whole hog and start selling sandwiches in the store.”

Me: “We do. We’re actually a sandwich shop. Disguised as a sandwich shop.”

Brother: “Whoa. You might have to slow down there. I’m pretty baked!”

(Turns out he didn’t even realise the pun he’d made.)

(I overhear a conversation between my family. My sister is quite good at knitting, and Dad asks her to make him a pair of underwear for Christmas.)

Sister: “Why would I want to make you underwear? Then it would be touching your man junk and I don’t want my handiwork touching your man junk!”

Dad: “If it weren’t for my man junk, you wouldn’t exist. You’d be floating aimlessly in the universe with nowhere to land!”

This story is part of the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

Read the next Family-At-Christmas Roundup story!

Read the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

I am walking into a store with my two daughters. The younger one, who is seven, is going through the list of relatives she wants to buy Christmas gifts for. As she gets to “Grandma,” she looks up at her big sister.

Daughter: “Help me find some old lady clothes for Grandma!”

This story is part of the Family-At-Christmas Roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Crazy Stories About Mothers-In-Law, And The Interesting Relationships We Have With Them

Read the next Family-At-Christmas Roundup story!

Read the Family-At-Christmas Roundup!

(My brother comes into my room one night after I’d accidentally told him I had a boyfriend earlier. He stands there awkwardly for a few minutes before getting to the point.)

Brother: “Do you have a second to talk?”

Me: “Sure.”

Brother: “Need-to-know conversation only?”

Me: *knowing what it’s going to be about* “Duh! I don’t want to tell you anymore that you want to know.”

Brother: “So… were you serious about having a boyfriend earlier?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Brother: “I thought so. Is it that kid you were hanging out with before?”

Me: “Yep.”

(He proceeds to ask several more general questions about him before looking satisfied and promising not to tell our mom until I’m ready. He leaves, but comes running back in five minutes later.)

Brother: “Wait! I have to meet this kid, but until then, tell him that if he hurts you we’re going to go for a long ride that he may or may not return from.”

(Needless to say my boyfriend’s slightly nervous about meeting my brother now!)

(I have just come home from visiting my best friend for two days. I am 29, and my brother is 23.)

Me: “Look, look! Friend gave me that Gonzo plushie I wanted for Christmas!”

Brother: “…Son of a b****!”

Me: “Eh?”

Brother: “I ordered you one of those for Christmas.”

Me: “Oh. Um, sorry? In fairness, I didn’t think you’d get one, since you made fun of me for wanting it when I told you.”

Brother: “Now I have to cancel it and think of something else.”

Me: “At least you can cancel it?”

Brother: “This is so messed up.”

Me: “Hey! You deserve a headache for making fun of anything related to The Muppets!”

Brother: “…Touché.”