Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

Customer: “Card, please.”

(We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

(I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

(I add everything again, slower.)

Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”

(I am processing a layaway for a customer. She is a bit rude with me but I proceed with a smile. The customer has multiple items in her cart.)

Me: “Hi. Were you thinking of putting in a layaway today, or were you going to place a final payment on a previous layaway?”

Customer #1: *rudely* “I have about 20 items in my cart. Does it look like I am going to make a final payment?”

Me: “Oh, I apologize. I was not sure if you were finished shopping.”

Customer #1: “Well, I am.”

Me: “Okay. Have you done a layaway with us before?”

Customer #1: “Yes, I sure have.”

Me: “May I have your number please?”

Customer #1: *tells her number*

(While she is telling her number, another customer comes up to the side.)

Customer #2: “Hey, are my items still here?”

Me: “Sure are. Just let me know when you are ready and I will come help you out.”

Customer #1: “Excuse me, but I will have my layaway processed first. You do not have to be rude and cut in front of me like I am invisible!”

Customer #2: “Oh, no. I am sorry. I was making sure my stuff was still there.”

Customer #1: “Well, move!”

(Customer #2 walks away in shock.)

Customer #1: “Geez! Some people think they can just cut!”

Me: “I am sorry, but that was my mother.”

(My first boyfriend and I are thirteen, and we are having our first fight. Neither of us has ever kissed anyone. We find a relatively empty hallway to argue in. None of my friends know I have a boyfriend, and we’re both big nerds.)

Me: “I can’t believe you! I… I… I hope you step on a Lego!”

Boyfriend: “Oh, yeah? I hope you step on a Lego set.”

Me: “I hope you step on the Lego Eiffel Tower!”

Boyfriend: “Well, I hope you step on a Lego Taj Mahal.”

Me: “I hope you step on a Lego Super Star Destroyer!”

Boyfriend: “Really? I hope you step on a Lego Death Star!”

Me: “That would be the destruction of art.”

(With no warning, he steps forward and kisses me. I am kind of surprised at first, but we have been kissing for about five seconds when my two best friends turn the corner of the hallway, looking for me. They know him as my good guy friend and stop in shock.)

Me: “I… we…”

Boyfriend: “Well, she said stepping on a Lego Death Star would be the destruction of art, and I really couldn’t help it.”

(My friends practically fell over themselves laughing. Ten years later, he proposed to me on Valentine’s Day evening. We’re getting married in May, and my friends are set to be my bridesmaids. Whenever anyone asks how we met, I tell them I threatened to step on the Death Star.)

This story is part of our Valentine’s Day roundup!

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(I am working at a very popular toy store around the Christmas holiday. Naturally, we are very busy. As a result, we run out of our larger size bags. A man comes up to the counter with two smaller building sets and a very large one. I have a very long line behind him.)

Me: “Would you like bags for these?”

Customer: *rudely* “Of course I would!”

Me: “Well, we have unfortunately run out of the larger bags, but I can bag the small boxes for you.”

Customer: “What kind of f****** store runs out of bags? You are a s*** employee! It’s f****** snowing out there! My toys are going to be ruined!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. We have been extremely busy this week. I can do my best to cover your box so it doesn’t get ruined.

(I take two smaller bags and place them on each end, covering a majority of the box. By this time, people throughout the store are staring.)

Customer: “What the f*** is this going to do?! You piece of s***! How f****** useless are you? Who the h*** hired your dumb a**, b****?”

(He throws the boxes over the counter back at me. I have never worked retail before, so I am very overwhelmed and begin to cry as he screams at me in the middle of the store. I’m trying to not be confrontational and just get him out as quickly as possible. He continues to throw things and swear loudly. My manager comes over and tells him that the authorities have been called and that he should leave the store immediately.)

Customer: “Fine! F*** all of you and f*** this store! I don’t need this s***!” *storms out*

(I quietly begin to check out the next customer, still crying slightly and shaking. She looks at me and says:)

Next Customer: “Don’t worry about him sweetie. He’s a d***.”

(She handed me a candy cane before she left. For twenty solid minutes I had people coming to my register so they could apologize for his behavior and make me feel better.)

(The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”

Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”

Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”