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Great stories from our entire backlog!

Do The Return, Feel The Burn

| Right | February 13, 2013

(I’m helping a customer, Customer #1, pick out a watch at a department store jewelry counter. Another customer, Customer #2, interrupts.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, I have a return. I had to wait in line at Customer Service just to be told I have to come up here.”

Me: “I’ll be with you in a minute ma’am, I am helping this other lady at the moment.”

Customer #2: “Well! I don’t have all day!”

Customer #1: *to me* “You can return that for her.” *whispers* “Before she throws a fit.”

(I do the return and turn back to Customer #1.)

Customer #2: “EXCUSE ME! The customer service lady said you would ring this all out for me as well.”

(Customer #2 holds up 2 boxes of shoes, some shirts, jeans and under garments.)

Me: “Normally I would be able to, but as I said before I am helping this lady in watches. You can wait until I finish helping her or go up to the registers with your purchases.”

Customer #2: “Well, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you!”

(Customer #2 storms off to the registers and stands in line, but continues to glare at me from afar.)

Customer #1: “Whoa! Someone needs a nap!”

Booze, You Lose

| Working | March 4, 2014

(I’m at a convenience store, down an aisle that has chips and beef jerky along one side and wine along the other. I’m debating over chips. I am very obviously no longer a teenager.)

Cashier: “Hey!”

Me: “Yes?”

Cashier: “Hey! You! Get the f*** out of that aisle!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Cashier: “Don’t you know it’s illegal for kids to go down the booze aisle?”

Me: “One: no, it’s not. Two: I’m not a kid. I’m almost 30.”

Cashier: “It’s illegal! I’m not losing my f****** job if some cop sees you.”

Manager: *who has been right behind the cashier the whole time* “Actually, she’s right, and you’re right to worry about your job, but not because of her. Let’s go talk in the back.”

(He still works there, but he gives me a death glare every time he sees me.)

How To Disarm Volatile Customers

| Right | May 13, 2013

(I work at a clothing department store. We don’t offer a discount to our military, but we do have deals going on all the time. I overhear a customer speaking as if he has a military background. He eventually comes up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I couldn’t help but overhear, but what branch are you?”

Military Customer: “Oh, I am in [legitimate military branch]. I did a tour of Iraq for a while.”

Me: “In that case, I can see that you forgot your coupon! That’s not a problem; we’ll take 30% off for you!”

(The next customer behind him starts yelling.)

Next Customer: “I don’t have my 50% coupon!”

(I ignore her, and finished the soldier’s purchases.)

Next Customer: “I deserve my 50% off!”

Me: “Ma’am, our store has never had a coupon that goes over 30%.”

(The next customer begins to yell.)

Next Customer: “You gave that discount to him! Why can’t I get the discount?”

(The military customer calmly walks over, and takes off his left arm. The next customer’s eyes get really large.)

Military Customer: “Don’t worry, the 50% discount only costs an arm and a leg; give or take a bit.”

(The next customer flees without buying anything. Thank you to all of our military, and especially the ones with great humor!)

Tried To Kill The Sale

| Working | March 17, 2015

(A couple weeks before this incident, I had to bathe my cat because he got into something sticky and foul smelling. He scratched up my arms and part of my stomach trying to escape the sink and it left a lot of scars.)

Me: “Just this soda and these candies, please.”

(I put the items on the counter in the process showing my arms.)

Cashier: “Did you try to kill yourself?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Cashier: “That’s disgusting. Why are flaunting your scars like you want sympathy?”

Me: “…I got them from my cat.”

Cashier: “Yeah. Try harder next time. Do everyone a favor.”

Me: “You know, never mind the items. I’m not buying anything.”

(As I left the store about six other customers left looking completely disgusted. None of them had purchased anything either.)

Deaf-Defying Behavior, Part 2

| Working | September 10, 2014

(My class is on a field trip to [Theme Park]. We are split into different groups. I have a fun time, but at the end of it I hear that for one of the groups there was an incident while they were at a restaurant.)

Waitress: “What can I get for you?”

Teacher Assistant: *makes her order*

Waitress: “And what can I get for you?”

Student: *looking at the menu*

Waitress: “What can I get for you?”

Student: *still looking at menu*

Waitress: “Are you deaf or something?!”

Teacher Assistant: *realizing what is going on* “Yes. She is. Now, can I speak to your manager?”