Customer: “Do you know who wrote Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Me: “Oh yeah… it was the same guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I can show you where it is.”

Customer: “When I first heard about this book, I was shocked! I had to sit there for a minute and see if I remembered any of my teachers mentioning that Lincoln killed vampires.”

(I decide to remain silent while she continues.)

Customer: “You know, the government tries to keep things like this from us. You can tell, because they never mention any of the supernatural things that happen in the news. You know… all those true exorcism and demon movies!”

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(I work ticketing at a movie theater. A middle-aged woman and her daughter approach me.)

Customer: “We’d like two tickets to… what are we going to see?”

Daughter: “It’s Breaking Dawn.”

Customer: “I’ve been calling it Sexy Vampires all day.”

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(I am working at the checkout when a mother in her 60s and daughter in her 40s walk up to checkout. There is a rack of magazines next to my register, including one with pictures from the upcoming Twilight movie.)

Daughter: “That Taylor Lautner is hot! Don’t you think so?”

Mother: “Oh, yeah, he’s much hotter than that Rob Pattinson guy.”

(I must have given them weird looks because the daughter now looks at me and begins to speak loudly and defensively.)

Daughter, to me: “What?! He’s legal!”

Customer: “I want to know what romance books are good right now. I want a really good romance since I’m going on vacation.”

Me: “Well, I don’t really read romance novels, but I can tell you what is popular. Have you read any Sherrilyn Kenyon?”

Customer: “What is it? Is it like vampires or something?”

Me: “It’s considered paranormal romance and is very popular.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want anything unrealistic.”

Me: “Well, then you probably don’t want a romance novel.”

Customer: “I want something realistic like Twilight. Do you have any books like that?”

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(My boyfriend and I are at a local video rental store when we overhear a conversation between a couple about what movies to rent.)

Husband: “What about this movie? I heard it was a good movie.” *points to ‘Twilight New Moon’*

Wife: “We’re not renting that.”

Husband: “But we each get to pick one movie.”

Wife: “We’re not renting that! It’s for teenage girls.”

Husband: “We each get a movie. That’s the movie I want.”

Wife: “That movie is for teenage girls. I will not watch that movie! If you rent it, you will be watching it alone. I am not going to watch that!”

Husband: “It’s supposed to be good. I should be able to pick what I want since we each get a movie.”

Wife: “Fine. I’m going to tell everyone you work with that you watch movies for teenage girls!”

(He didn’t get the movie.)