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23 Stories That Prove Bad Customers Are Scarier Than Vampires

| Right | May 26, 2020

Dear readers!

Today is Dracula day! Way back in 1897, Irish author Bram Stoker unleashed the most famous vampire of them all on the world. Horror, gothic fiction, and eventually, pop culture, would never be the same again.

We’ve gone through our crypt and catacombs to unearth 23 bloodthirsty stories to get your teeth stuck into. Warning: These stories prove that bad customers are still scarier than Dracula.


Vampires Drink Blood, But It’s The Fans That Bite – How to make a Vampire cult without actually biting anyone…

Less Twilight, More Daylight – Vampires die without blood. But then again, so do humans…

The Twilight Of Our Literacy – Can you make a book but have it be like a series of tweets?

Being The President Sucks – What inspired Spielberg to make Lincoln!

They Swim Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine – Who wants to be part of her world?

In The Twilight Of Their Youth – Some vampires suck, and some vampires just suck.

It Must Have Been A New Moon – I’m glad he understands now… because we don’t!

Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2 – The tips of my fangs better not be the only tips I see tonight!

Kramer Vs Dracula – We missed that episode of Suits.

Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3 – Giving birth to all kinds of imagery…

The Only Reason To Read Anyway – Making our necks engorged.

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6 – Aliens might have Vampire problems too!

Team Cougar, Part 2 – If they think that is sexy they’ve obviously never seen Interview With A Vampire!

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7 – Warn them about it young!

I Can Almost Feel Edward’s Embrace – If a romance novel aims to be realistic then it can’t be romantic.

More Daylight, Less Twilight, Part 6 – Good luck trying to kiss Kain!

The Truth Is Waaay Out There – The government tried to cover up the zombie apocalypse but stopped bothering when it realized no one could tell the difference…

More Daylight, Less Twilight, Part 7 – Careful… It just got real.

Tall, Board, And Handsome – Hi Grandma! Meet my friends Damon, Elena, and Stefan…

Zombie Vampire Love – To be fair, both words have some pretty negative connotations.

Enjoying Their Twilight Years – Herman would have made it sooooo much better!

Just Plain Batty, Part 2 – We know bats get a bad rap sometimes, but this is ridiculous!

Rescue 911, Transylvania Edition – We really hope this is just biting humor.


We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories! Know any that we missed (please – no more Twilight!)? Let us know in the comments! Want to submit your own story? Do it here!

Stay safe, everyone!

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