Archive for 2011

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The Time-Traveller’s Wife

| Johannesburg, South Africa | Romantic | December 29, 2011

(I am emailing my husband. He is very into sci-fi, and we have lots of theoretical debates about time travel.)

Husband: “Hello, future wife. It’s sad but unavoidable that present me cannot tell present you that I love her. So, we’ll have to settle for this quantum ping pong that currently exists. I love you, too, in any case. And past you. And future you, after you. I look forward to minimizing our proximities, so I can be closer to my current you. More love. Past husband.”

My Little Stony Relationship

| ME, USA | Romantic | December 29, 2011

(I’m at my boyfriend’s house. I am wearing a shirt with a pony from a show whose target audience are 5 year old girls, and involves lots of colorful ponies.)

Boyfriend’s roommate: “I like your shirt.”

Me: *eyes widen* “You, are my new best friend. Do you watch the show?”

Boyfriend’s roommate: “Yes.”

Me: “You, just made my day.”

Boyfriend: “So, I took you out to breakfast. And, I’m taking you to the movies. He makes your day because he likes a show about ponies. I see how it is. [Roommate], want to go to the movies?”

Me: “Well, if you liked [pony show], you’d make my day, too!”

Introducing IYAMYOURS.com!

IYAMYOURS.com | Right | December 28, 2011

IYAMYOURS MascotWe love you – our readers!

But who—or—what do you love? Deeply in love with the love of your life? Got the hots for a sexy celebrity? Maybe you’re crushing on a shiny new gadget or some new shoes? Whatever you’re in love with, we want to know at IYAMYOURS.com!

Here’s just one of many love-struck stories already submitted to IYAMYOURS:

“IYAMYOURS because I’ve never met anybody who can make me laugh in the middle of crying, because I’ve never met anybody who is as kind and generous as you are. Finally, IYAMYOURS because the last year and a half of my life has only been amazing cause you’ve been a part of it. I love you, Alex. <3 IYAMYOURS"

But wait, there’s more! Join the over 2,300 YAMMY fans who have already signed up for our mailing list. You’ll get to find out what exciting new YAMMY site is coming up next!

               

Definitely Not On The DIY Channel

| Sydney, Australia | Right | December 28, 2011

(I work at a kids clothing store and a customer comes in with his wife. He is holding his newborn baby.)

Customer: “Look what we made!”

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With Great Money Comes Fiscal Responsibility

| Quebec, Canada | Right | December 28, 2011

Customer: “Excuse me? My 13-year-old son went to your store last night and spent over $200.”

Me: “Okay, and what is the problem?”

Customer: “Well, no one asked him for ID.”

Me: *confused* “Well, did he buy anything that requires him to be a certain age?”

Customer: “No, but he spent $200 and he’s only 13 years old. No one asked him for his ID!”

Me: “So, I should have asked him for ID and then declined to sell something to him because he’s a teenager?”

Customer: “Exactly. I’m shocked that your store doesn’t seem to have a policy about this.”

Me: “Ma’am, how did your son pay for what he bought?”

Customer: “Cash, of course. He’s way too young to have a debit or credit card.”

Me: “So you allowed your son to spend a Friday evening at the mall with $200 cash on him, but you’re blaming our store because he spent it?”

Customer: “Pretty much, yes.”

Me: “Ma’am, if he wasn’t buying anything he was too young to buy, I couldn’t decline the sale because of his age, as that would be discrimination.”

Customer: “Well, I’m pretty sure there are laws against it. I’ll be getting back to you.”

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