(A customer walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, sir! What can I get—“

Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

(We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

(Me and my mom are on the porch, saying goodbye to my brother who is leaving for college.)

Me: “I’m going to miss you. Just don’t make me an aunt!”

Brother: “Don’t make me an uncle!”

(My neighbor has been watching us. He looks shocked.)

Mom: *to neighbor, very proudly* “Yup, they’re my kids.”

(My sister and I are wreaking havoc at the check-out counter at the local supermarket. The cashier hands my sister a bag of muffins.)

Sister: “Here, take the muffins.”

(I grab the muffins.)

Sister: “Stop being so aggressive! Stop molesting the muffins!”

(The cashier is trying to hold back the giggles and hands my sister a bag of raw meat. I grab the bag of meat out of my sister’s hand.)

Me: “Ah, no! The men carry the meat in this family!”

Sister: “Then give me the darn muffins back!”

Me: “Never!”

Cashier: *now on the verge of tears, speaking very quickly* “Your total is $20.95. Thank you, and have a nice day!”

Sister and me: “Thank you!”

(We happily leave the supermarket.)

(I am working the checkout on a very busy evening. Even though it is busy, I try to make small talk with the customers as we wait for their transactions to process. One lady comes up wearing a Winnie the Pooh jacket. As a Pooh fan myself, I compliment her on her jacket.)

Me: “I just love your jacket!”

Customer: “Thanks! I just wish they had Pooh.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “When I bought this one, they were out of stock on Pooh.”

Me: “That one does have Pooh.”

Customer: *looks down at her jacket* “Well, darn. I forgot which one I was wearing!”

(I share a bedroom with my sister. We are playing the alphabet game instead of counting sheep.)

Sister: “I’ll go first…Alligator.”

Me: “Banana.”

Sister: “Cookie.”

Me: “Dog.”

Sister: “Euphoria.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Sister: “Really happy.”

Me: “Oh. What comes after your word?”

Sister: “F.”

Me: “F, huh? Hmm… phone.”

*pause*

Me: “Shut up, I’m tired.”