Unfiltered Story #27906

Chicago, IL, USA | Unfiltered | November 4, 2015

(I am fifteen years old at the time of this story. I am also an atheist, and have a semi-large following on Instagram. I make a humorous and quite satirical post about the Bible, and how I would read and write complaints with it as if I was an editor for the book. Since most of my new friends I made during my 9th grade year were also atheists, I thought there would be no problems. These were text messages exchanged between me and a friend I had classes with in 8th grade, who happens to be a Roman Catholic.)

Friend: “How could you write in the Bible, let alone edit it?!”

Me: “Well, I would pick up a pen and jot down things I want to.”

Friend: “You know what I really mean.”

Me: “There is a number of reasons, such as me not finding it to be true, me not caring what other people think, me having free will, etc. and etc.”

Friend: “That is just so completely wrong on so many levels.”

Friend: “You can’t post that stuff on Instagram. Seriously, we get that you’re an atheist, but you can’t just shove your beliefs in science down my throat!”

Me: “One, yes I can. Two, how is it wrong? Three, atheism does not relate to science. Just how I see God. And I call myself an atheist because I DON’T see God. Four, I am not ramming my beliefs down your throat. There is a little button on your phone you can push that says “Following.” If you push that, suddenly I won’t be in your feed anymore!”

Friend: “Whatever. If you’re going to mess with other people’s religions, just go write in the f****** Qur’an or something.”

Me: *speechless*

(Fast forward a few days later, when I was hanging out with one of my new friends, who happens to be Muslim. I showed her these texts, and while she laughs at it, she says, “I can’t believe how ridiculous she was! I can’t believe you had a friend who was like that… You should post this story Not Always Friendly or something!”)

Unfiltered Story #32179

Victoria, BC | Unfiltered | November 4, 2015

It’s 1978. The band and choir have just returned from an exchange trip with Stratford, ON. We are sharing slide photos of the trip, one of which is a beautiful picture of an airliner in the clouds.

One of the students pipes up: “Is that our plane?”

Unfiltered Story #56633

USA | Unfiltered | November 4, 2015

My father is the CEO of a high-end food store chain. He is known to fly around the country working as a bagboy in certain stores. Today he is at a store near headquarters while my mom and I are shopping.

Customer: Nonono! You are doing it all wrong! You do not bag like that!

My Father: I’m sorry?

Customer: You idiot, you do are a horrible bagboy. You nearly broke the eggs I just bought. I ought to have you fired! I am the assisstant manager *while showing his badge* at (store several miles away) and I am going to complain to your manager.

My Father: Look bu…

Customer: At my store, my employee’s all work their hardest and if they do one thing wrong, they get their paycheck cut in half. You idiots should consider that!

My Father: Is that so? I should report you.

Customer: Yes, idiot. What are you going to do? Complain to the corporate scumbags? They won’t care what you say. I am better than you and all bagboy’s at your store.

My Father: Well, I can proudly say that the corporate office does in fact care about little guys like bagboys. Want to know how I know? *shows the manager at other store his badge; which clearly states “CEO”*

Customer: Uh, sir, uh. I was… uh.. just kidding.

My Father: Oh really? No, don’t think so. Go to (other store) and tell (Manager) you just got fired by a “coporate scumbag.”

Me: Way to go, dad!

Unfiltered Story #66994

Balloch, Scotland | Unfiltered | November 4, 2015

I’m on vacation in Scotland, and visiting an Aquarium. We’re getting some info on lobsters and crabs from an employee

Note: i’m deathly afraid of spiders.

employee: “So here we have the king crab. Let me get one out of it’s tank..”

And he proceeds taking a huge crab out of the tank, and I jump back a few feet in horror; the thing looks just like a giant spider to me.

employee: (still holding the crab.) “Er… something I said?”

me: (slightly panting) “No, it’s just.. eh.. can you put that thing back?”

Employee: “Oh… okaaay…”

He puts it back.

me: “I’m so sorry, but i’m deathly afraid of spiders and apparently that fear includes everything with too many protrusions.”

employee: “Oh, I see. Hm.. never heard of arachnophobia that includes fear of crabs. That’s a new one!”

Later on I hesitantly approach the tank, to take a closer look. I come to the conclusion that when it’s under water it isn’t so bad.

Employee: “I thought you were afraid of it?”

me: “Its ok when it’s just sitting still I guess.”

Employee: “You want me to take it out again.”

me: “DON’T YOU DARE!!!”

Unfiltered Story #47605

Oregon | Unfiltered | November 4, 2015

When I was little my dad was in the army. He was away on a deployment when I was about three and this happened:

Me: Mom, why did you make my daddy go away?

Mom: *starts sobbing uncontrollably*

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