Unfiltered Story #56709

England | Unfiltered | January 23, 2016

(I share an office with my colleague, facing each other with a board between. He is constantly getting me to get up and walk around as he can’t be bothered asking a full question)

Colleague: What’s this mean?

Me: “This” is a term used to refer to the subject of a conversation.

(There is silence so I assume it’s not important, get on with other things and go to lunch. When I get back I find him struggling with something and peer around to help)

Me: Oh, that’s a really common error. Just go into this folder and run this bit as Administrator.

Colleague: Are you f***ing kidding me!? I asked about this two hours ago and you gave me some stupid answer!!

Me: *stifling a laugh* It was a stupid answer for a stupid question. You’ve been working on this for two hours?

(Note it’s a pretty basic problem – rudimentary diagnostics would show you a key component is missing)

Colleague: YES! *nonsensical swearing as he applies the fix and calls the customer back* FINALLY got a fix here, sorry ’bout that, take care *slams the phone down*

(He ignored me for weeks, it was the most productive I’d been all year)

Unfiltered Story #32259

Romania | Unfiltered | January 23, 2016

(We are reading in turns and some of the more stupid students are selected for reading a ‘Did you know?’ section.)

[Student 1]:*very slow and occasionally laughing, reading about weight units* A kil… kilo… kilogram is equ-equal to uhh… it was first decided in 1… 1…179, the original pro… prototype… what is a prototype?

[Student 2]:The International… pro…to…type? was general confe-conference of weight?! What is that?

(They were reading very slow and occasionally stopping to laugh about something, before they finished the bell rang.

Unfiltered Story #67074

Rochester, NY, USA | Unfiltered | January 23, 2016

I work as a cashier at my store. After swiping their cards customers generally use their fingers to select the options on the pin pad, when they’re supposed to use the attached pen. Often times trying to press an option using a finger will cause the wrong option to be selected. A couple comes up ready to be cashed out. After I scan everything the woman swipes the card and the pin pad screen asks her to validate the total. She goes to press the “yes” option with her finger and “no” ends up being selected. This brings her back to the please swipe prompt.

Me: Oh. Ma’am, the “no” option was selected when you went to verify the total. Please swipe again.

The customer knitted her eyebrows since she knew she put her finger over the “yes” option. She re-swipes and reads aloud: Is this amount ok? Yes (as she flips one of her hands up in confusion).

Me: Sorry about that ma’am. For some strange reason, when a customer uses their finger instead of the pen, it doesn’t always register correctly.

Customer: Hmm.

Customer’s boyfriend: You guys specialize in repairs. You should get that fixed.

Me: …

Unfiltered Story #47683

Los Angeles, CA, USA | Unfiltered | January 22, 2016

(I’m driving along with my two sons, 9 and 5. We’re talking about Iron Man. The 9-year old loves wordplay.)

9-Year Old: What if it was “I, Ron Man”?

Me: I, Ron, am your king!

9-Year Old: King of the Jews!

Me: (startled) Uh, do you know what that means?

9-Year Old: Uh, not really.

Me: Well, Jesus was referred to as “king of the Jews.”

5-Year Old: I don’t like Jewish people.

Me: (even more startled) What? What about Samantha [a Jewish friend who is around his age)]?

5-Year Old: She’s not Jewish!

Me: Yes she is. Her whole family’s Jewish.

9-Year Old: (to 5-year old) Don’t become the second Hitler!!

Unfiltered Story #56708

England | Unfiltered | January 22, 2016

I needed some upgrades for my PC, rather than go to the big chain store, I decide to try out our small independent computer shop. After no response from an email, I give them a call.

Me: Hi, I was looking for some advice.

Worker: Uh huh.

Me: I need to upgrade my graphics card, I have a small budget of £500. What do you recommend?

Worker: I don’t know, you will have to speak to the manager.

(Long pause)

Me: can you pass him over please?

Worker: He’s not here.

(long pause)

Me: okay, well when will he be in?

Worker: Err well after lunch I guess.

Me: Ok well I will try again later. Thanks.

(He hangs up without so much as a goodbye. I figure I would have much more luck with the manager so try again later.)

Me: can I speak to the manager please?

Manager: Speaking.

Me: (I explain what I am looking for and why)

Manager: Err well, I can think about that, can I get back to you.

Me: Err sure, my number is (number) and my email is (email address).

Manager: Ok i’ll let you know, bye, (Hangs up straight away).

(A few days pass, I call with no answer and email again, still no answer. A month passes before I really need to upgrade and reluctantly go back to the bug chain store. I never hear from the little shop, it’s a wonder they are still open.)

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