Unfiltered Story #296131

(I’m with a group of friends on a train, all female. I’m the tallest, at just over 6ft, and the shortest is just under 5ft. Despite being around the same age, the shortest is often mistaken to being a younger sibling and even my child by strangers, and it annoys her endlessly. We’ve been spending the day together where this has happened multiple times, so she’s frustrated. We’re heading back on the train and there’s a collection of seats but it’s just one short for our group. Everyone but myself and the shortest have one)

Me: “Do you want it, [shortest friend]?”

Her: “No, I’m fine, you sit and rest your ridiculously long legs”

(I do, then I look at her again and decide, with my poor sense of humour, to take a risk)

Me: (in a voice that is typically reserved for small children and animals) “Do you wanna sit on my laaap?”

(She gives me a long, hard look)

Her: “F*ck you.” (pause) “Yes, I do wanna sit on your lap!” (another long pause) “Why do you get ridiculously long legs AND large t*ts?”

Me: “So you get a headrest as well as the comfiest seat”