We were having General Quarters drills, and when I got to my station I saw two things that were unusual. One of my supervisors was at my station wearing his yellow “training” hat, and a yellow tag was hanging off of a power panel with some message about a switch being “turned to alternate.”

Me: What? Am I suppose to change this then?
Supervisor: I’m not here. You can’t ask me anything.
Me: Um, but what is this?
Supervisor: You can’t ask me anything.
Me: I don’t even know what this means. What am I suppose to be seeing here?

That’s when the supervisor caught on that I had no idea what the tag was suppose to represent, and he explained what I was “suppose” to be seeing. In this case, while the switch was really set to the “normal” position, I was to pretend it was set to “alternate”. Then, I would report the status to my chain of command, and await instructions etc.

I’m glad he took the time to explain what I was looking at, beyond just “don’t ask anything,” because in the long run when I actually DID have something unusual show up at my station, I knew how to handle it.

My husband asked me to pick-up some car parts for one of our vehicles that he was repairing. He then called me to pick up one more part.

Me to the store clerk: “I also need a (some part)”
Store Clerk: “What size”
Me: “I don’t know” and then “It doesn’t matter”, after getting my husband’s response.
Store Clerk: “I need to know the size or what you need it for”
Me: “He built a homemade smoker”
SC: “Oh, here’s the part you need. He must be an engineer.”
Me: “He’s not but he’s been known to create a lot of interesting things when doing his repairs”
SC: “Either that or a Redneck”

(This occurred when I was in high school, not long after Columbine. Someone called in a threat to my school that was supposedly going to happen later that week. I’m doing after-school volunteer work for a club alongside a younger friend of mine. This friend’s father needs a liver transplant, and is not doing well. We’re joking around and chatting as we work, when suddenly my friend goes quiet for a moment.)

Friend: “So…if someone does shoot up the school, and you get killed, can my dad have your liver?”

Me: *pausing because I’m caught off-guard by the question* “Yes. I’m already an organ donor. If something happens to me, and I’m a match, your dad gets first dibs on my liver.”

(My friend seemed to cheer up a little after that and we went back to discussing more light-hearted topics. The threat was, as expected, a false alarm. My friend’s dad never got his transplant. To this day, it’s still heartbreaking to remember how my friend was so desperate that instead of being worried about the school shooting threat, he saw it as a possible source of a new liver for his dying father.)

My library suffered a devastating fire on a Tuesday. The flames are put out quickly, but there is debris (glass, wood, siding, DVD cases, office supplies, books, etc) all over the front lawn. By Wednesday, all of the windows are boarded up and the staff are allowed supervised entry to retrieve some personal items. While standing in the parking lot, respirator masks and heavy duty black gloves on, a car pulls up.

Patron, getting out of car: Hey, I need to return this! *waves library item*
Coworker: Um, I’m sorry but there was a fire yesterday and we are currently closed for the foreseeable future.
Patron: Oh, I’d heard there was a fire. But you guys are all here, so you’re open right?
Coworker: *flabbergasted* No, I’m sorry. The fire damaged much of the building, we have no power, all the windows are boarded over, and a third of our collection is in the front lawn. We aren’t open.

This conversation went back and forth for a good five minutes before my coworker managed to convince the patron to visit another library ten minutes away. Then I walk up to her.

Me: … what in the *%^%* was that?!
Coworker: I… I don’t know.
Me: How did you not lose your cool with them?!
Coworker: I was too shocked!
Me: What part of the windows being boarded up, our collection being in the front yard, the cleaning company being here with a dumpster, and us in masks and gloves screams ‘WE’RE OPEN FOR BUSINESS’?!

Unfortunately we still have patrons flagging us down if they see us around, trying to give us their items to return… as if we have any place to put them, or computer to process them on…

My sister and I look a lot alike, so much so, we are often asked if we are twins. This evening, we are at a wedding reception for one of her former Boy Scouts, and has many of the former troop in attendance. As we are leaving, I am approached by a young man.

Young Man: Hey, aren’t you going to say Hi?

Me:….

Young Man: Don’t you know who I am?

Me: ::Staring at him for a second:: (By this time, I realize he must be one of my sisters scouts.) Do you know who I am?

Young Man: Of course I do! But, do you know who I am?

Me: I’m (my name)

Young man: Oh…, well…, I guess I don’t know who you are! Do you have a twin?

Me: No, but my sister (sisters name) is in the bathroom, and will be back in a minute.

We had a good laugh about it when my sister showed up, and he had a good story for the night.