Minimum Wage, Maximum Effort

| ON, Canada | Working | October 23, 2016

(I am currently job hunting and am walking down various city streets, dropping off resumés to every business that looks like they might hire me. I walk into a corporate pizza restaurant.)

Me: “Hi there, I was wondering if you might be hiring at the moment.”

Manager: “YES! We are… um, do you have a car and a driver’s license?”

Me: “I do.”

Manager: “Great! We need a driver ASAP. Your orientation is on Tuesday!”

Me: “Um… well, what is the pay?”

Manager: “It’s $7.00.”

(That is absurdly below minimum wage in Canada.)

Me: “Okay… anything I’ll need?”

Manager: “You’ll need a phone, and you should probably get a GPS.”

Me: “Will you be compensating me for any of that?”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “And what about gas?”

Manager: “You pay for the gas. We don’t compensate that either.”

Me: “So you want me to buy a phone, a GPS, and pay for my own gas?”

Manager: “Yup, see you Tuesday!”

(I did the math, and combined with the price hike my insurance would undergo, I would be LOSING money on that job. Needless to say, I didn’t show up on Tuesday.)

Buy Him A Hot Slice Of Karma, Part 2

| CA, USA | Right | October 17, 2016

(It’s my last few days as a shift manager for a national pizza chain, so my filter is off because I know I won’t be fired. One of the order takers calls me to the phone, saying the customer on the line wants to talk to a manager.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you the manager?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: “I wanted to complain about my pizza! It was terrible!”

(He goes on a rant about how every time he orders from us, the pizza is awful and why can’t we get it right? I break in long enough to get his details and pull up his account and see we’ve given at least a dozen free pizzas after he’s complained.)

Customer: “And I’m never ordering another pizza from you guys ever again!”

Me: “All right, that sounds fine to me. Thank you. Goodbye.” *I start to hang up*

Customer: “Wait, wait! Don’t hang up on me!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t think there was anything else I could help you with.”

Customer: *sputtering* “Well, aren’t you even going to offer me a free pizza credit for next time?!”

Me: “And call you a liar? Sir, I would never! You said you weren’t ordering from us ever again, and I believe you. Bye!”

(I hung up. Best interaction I ever had while working there.)

Related:
Buy Him A Hot Slice Of Karma

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Panicking At The Tipping Point

| Canada | Right | October 13, 2016

I am the customer. I order a pizza online and get a “Pizza of the Day” deal for a $10 discount.

When the pizza is delivered, I notice I do not have my card with me. My mistake. I forgot how much the order was for, so I ask him to tell me the amount, and he just shows me the receipt.

I am in a hurry, so I notice the total amount ($41) before the deal discount, frantically try to search for some loonies since he does not have any spare change on him, and finally give him $46.

All this time he is smiling at me, and I am just thinking may be he is trying to be friendly.

Just now, the order email confirmation catches my eye, and I see that I paid an extra $15 for the pizza delivery and realize that probably that’s why the delivery guy was smiling, thinking he is getting a huge tip!

Orders Pizza Every Week, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

| Fargo, ND, USA | Working | October 7, 2016

(I order a pizza. The gentleman who delivers it shows up at my door in a suit and tie, strangely enough. It gets weirder. While I write his tip on the receipt, he asks:)

Delivery Guy: “While I’m here, mind if I tell a joke?”

Me: “As long as it’s a good one!”

Delivery Guy: “Okay, here goes. Who’s a better detective, Batman or Sherlock Holmes?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Delivery Guy: “Batman, because Sherlock Holmes is fictional.”

(I sputtered my perplexity briefly before thanking him and going back into my apartment. Did Bruce Wayne deliver me a pizza or is there something I’m missing?)

They Will Ghetto-ver It

| Nashville, TN, USA | Right | October 5, 2016

(I recently began working at a popular pizzeria near a really bad neighborhood. Because of that, we cut off delivery to certain parts of our area in the evenings to protect our drivers. One evening the phone rings, and because I’m being trained on the point-of-sale system that day, my coworker answers as I watch. I can also hear what the customer is saying.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Pizzeria]. My name is [Coworker]. Will this be for delivery or carryout?”

Customer: “Delivery.”

Coworker: “Okay, what’s the address?”

(The customer gives their address, which is on one of the streets that is affected by the cut-off time.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, we don’t deliver to [Street] after [cut-off time].”

Customer: “Okay.” *yelling to someone on their end* “MA! THEY DON’T DELIVER TO THE GHETTO!” *click*

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