A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 3

, | Pensacola, FL, USA | Right | September 8, 2016

(At 30 minutes until close, a customer calls in to order a pepperoni, bacon, and extra cheese pizza. I let her know that I have a pepperoni prepped (not baked yet) and ask if she would mind having extra pepperoni without any cost. She agrees, I make her order, and I send her the food. An hour after close, as I’m about to walk out the door, I get a call. I pick it up to let whoever is calling know that we close early on weeknights, and this conversation follows:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]! I apologize, but we close at 11 on weeknights.”

Customer: “Hey! I ordered a pizza from you guys and it was really greasy! I want one that’s less greasy!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience but we’re already closed.” *look up her order history and see she has a complaint and credit for all of her orders*

Customer: “Well, I want a credit! You should’ve told me it would have been greasy!”

Me: “I should have told you a double pepperoni, bacon, and extra cheese pizza was going to be greasy?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t credit your account. It seems you have a note here that says we’ve issued too many credits in the past. I apologize, but there’s nothing I can do for you today.”

Customer: “What?! That is OUTRAGEOUS. I have never complained in my life!”

Me: “The last time you ordered you had wings and said they were raw. Our wings come in precooked and we heat them when you order them.”

Customer: “They were RAW! You were trying to give me SALMONELLA!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’re closed and I won’t be able to help you today.”

Customer: “You f****** b****! I’m going to let your manager now and you’ll be FIRED!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager.”

(The customer hung up and we didn’t get another order from her again.)

Related:
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 2
A Hot Slice Of Justice

Car-Tipping

| WI, USA | Right | August 18, 2016

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*

Medium-Sized Demands

| Spain | Right | August 12, 2016

(We get a call five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order one pizza, medium-sized! But it must be medium, okay? I won’t accept it if it’s not medium! It MUST be medium-sized!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, medium-sized. All clear.”

Customer: *after a few seconds still rambling about the size* “The toppings will be extra cheese, extra pepperoni, extra mushrooms, extra pepper, extra onion, extra chicken, extra tuna, and extra corn. Did you get that? But it MUST be medium-sized! I won’t accept it if it’s not medium-sized! And make sure it’s cooked dry; I won’t accept it any other way.”

Me: *confused, trying to take note as fast as I can* “Uhm… yes, ma’am, sure. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, give me two meat lasagnas, two spinach lasagnas, chicken nuggets, french fries, and six bottles of water. Oh, and put the lasagnas in pizza boxes. They MUST be in pizza boxes! I won’t accept them if they’re not in pizza boxes! Read what I asked for.”

(I read her the receipt with all she asked for.)

Customer: “Okay, but the pizza MUST be medium-sized, okay? And bring some napkins. And the bottles of water must be separated in two different bags! I won’t take them if they’re in the same bag!” *click*

(Later, my manager told me that she would call three random days a week, always five minutes before closing, and she’d always ask for the same, but changing certain small details so we couldn’t know beforehand what she’d ask for.)

Reliving The Same Slice Of Life

, | Poolesville, MD, USA | Working | July 21, 2016

(I go to the local pizza place.)

Me: *places order*

Cashier: “Okay, will there be anything else?”

Me: “Nope.”

Cashier: “May I have a name?”

Me: *gives name*

Cashier: “Is it for here or to go?”

Me: “For here.”

Cashier: “Will there be anything else?”

Me: “You already asked that.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; I meant, can I have a name?”

Me: “You already asked that as well.”

Cashier: *laughing from embarrassment* “I’m sorry. I meant is that for here or to go?”

Me: *face-palming at this point* “Again, you already asked that. You are just repeating yourself.”

Cashier: “I’m so sorry. I’ve had a really long day.”

Peppered With Stupidity

| Stillwater, MN, USA | Right | July 14, 2016

(I work at a pizza place and answer phone calls. This is one that happened on a busy Saturday night.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. How may I help you?”

(I can barely hear him but he seems to go off on a rant right away.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I didn’t catch that. Could you please speak up?”

Caller: “I just f****** told you.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I couldn’t hear you.”

Caller: “I ordered a f****** pizza with banana peppers and got green peppers.”

Me: “Okay, sir, what was the address?”

(The caller gives address and I look up the receipt.)

Me: “All right. On the ticket it says green peppers. Was this an online order or did you call?”

(He tells me he ordered online so I find the online ticket and sure enough, green peppers.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do anything for you. You ordered green peppers online and that’s what you got.”

Caller: “F*** you!” *hangs up*

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