I work at a mom-and-pop pizza place.

Caller: “I wanna order two pizzas for pickup.”

I get their details down, and then get to the pizzas:

Caller: “Both pizzas need to be half no sauce, just the toppings.”

Me: “Got it.”

We get a call from them a couple of minutes before the order is supposed to be ready.

Caller: “Can we get the pizzas for later? We’re having a party and don’t want it to get cold.”

Me: “It’s already half-baked, but we can take it out and finish it when you want it.”

So, they give us a time, and we assume that’s it. Fast forward to fifteen minutes after they said they would pick it up, and they call again:

Caller: “We don’t need the pizzas anymore. We want a refund.”

Normally, we would just give it to them despite the late notice, but the pizza is too custom to resell.

Me: “You can’t cancel it as it’s already been made. You’ve had every opportunity to cancel the last several times you’ve called.”

Caller: *Unsatisfied.* “Fine, but have it delivered to our house… for free.”

I consult the owner.

Owner: “If it means those idiots stop calling us, then fine. It gets them out of our hair.”

I tell them we will do that and hang up. They call back twenty seconds later.

Me: *Looking at the number on the phone.* “It’s them again.”

Owner: “Jesus! Now what?!”

Caller: “We need you to also pick up our sushi order from [place down the block].”

Me: “We will absolutely not be doing that.”

Caller: “Yes, you can! It’s on the way!”

Me: “Sir, it’s not a matter of if we can or not. It’s that we won’t.”

Caller: “I want to speak to someone in charge.”

I pass the call to the owner. He just says:

Owner: “Nope!”

And hangs up. The driver leaves with their weird half-sauce pizzas. Ten minutes later, another customer comes in.

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two half-sauce pizzas for my son-in-law?”

Me: “Uh, we’re delivering that.”

Customer: “Well, no one told me that!”

Me: “Uh, sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not your fault. I’m just kinda upset about having to drive over for nothing, but I can obviously see that it’s not your fault. It’s my useless son-in-law not telling me.”

The phone rings again. I look at the number and share a look with the owner.

Owner: “Oh no…”

I pick up.

Caller: “Tell my dad-in-law to get the f****** sushi from down the block!”

We just let him walk out without telling him.

Related:
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 35
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 34
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 33
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 32
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 31

I’m a manager at a pizza place. This morning, there was snow on the ground and clear skies; this afternoon, the weather is a snowy mess that makes driving a terrifying prospect. It’s to the point that one of my coworkers – who lives outside the city and drives a pickup truck – is volunteering herself to drive anyone home who doesn’t want to take their small cars home in that weather.

I have called a halt to pizza delivery, so my drivers don’t have to risk themselves out in that weather, and have been fielding the phone calls. One of those calls stands out for me.

Caller: “Hey, I’d like to order a—”

Me: “—We are not currently doing delivery at this time.”

Caller: “What? Why not?”

Me: “Because this weather makes it unsafe to drive, sir.”

Caller: “I know that! Why do you think I’m ordering delivery instead of coming in to eat a fresh pizza?”

Me: “…Sir, unsafe weather means unsafe for EVERYONE. Including my delivery drivers.”

Caller: “F*** your delivery drivers! They can crash and die for all I care!”

I’m left staring at the phone for a few moments.

Me: “What is your name, sir?”

Caller: “[Name].”

Me: “Thank you. You are now banned from [Pizza Place]. Have the day you deserve.”

I hung up and made the decision right then and there to start closing up immediately.

Related:
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 14
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 13
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 12
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 11
A Hot Slice Of Justice, Part 10

I’m delivering a pizza. I knock on the door and don’t get an answer, so I go around to another side door and knock there. After about five minutes of knocking and calling the customer, a porch light comes on, and a guy answers the door, saying:

Customer: “What do you want?”

Me: “I have your pizza here, just need you to sign the slip.”

Customer: “I ordered a pizza yesterday, and it didn’t come… is this making up for it?”

Me: “No, sir, that was ordered just under an hour ago.”

Customer: “Oh… well… then… that was one h*** of a nap!”

Our pizza place had a deal going on where you could get a two-topping pizza for five dollars; of course, some toppings were exempt.

Customer: “I’d like the five-dollar pizza with Philly steak and bell peppers.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the Philly steak isn’t part of the deal. It would cost you an extra dollar.”

Customer: “No, no, how about spinach and Philly steak?”

Me: “It will cost a dollar extra if you want Philly steak.”

Customer: “Okay, how about onions and Philly steak?”

Me: “Sir… I’m afraid we’re out of Philly steak.”

That worked!

I work at a local-ish pizza place that has stores all over the area. When I was being trained to answer the phone at this particular store, I was told to ALWAYS check that the address was within our delivery area. This is because the area intersects with a lot of different stores, and addresses that are just a few minutes away may be in another store’s delivery area since it would be closer.

We very commonly have customers try to order food from our store which are in other stores’ delivery areas. We also have a “No delivery zone” that starts a few blocks from the store due to a high enough crime rate that management would just not want to send anyone to.

This is relatively new, so another reason to ALWAYS check is that customers may say, “I always order here though!” or “Well, you’ve delivered to me before!” when we don’t anymore. 

This customer was particularly angry when I asked them to hold so I could check their address.

Me: “Would you mind holding for one moment so I can make sure you’re within our delivery area?”

Customer: “No, I am within your delivery area. I’m just a few minutes down the road.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to ask every time.”

Usually, when this happens, that line gets me on hold so I can check the address, but not this time. As I was reaching for the hold button, I was interrupted, and I didn’t want to rudely cut them off.

Customer: “Wait! I don’t understand. You’ve delivered to me before. I order here all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I—”

Customer: “—Are you new here? Because I haven’t been asked this before.”

Me: “Well, I’ve—”

Customer: “I order here all the time! I don’t understand why you would have to check that I’m in your delivery area!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to check every time. This will only take a moment.”

At that point, they were yelling at me, but after that last line, they were quiet for long enough to put them on hold. I’ve gotten pretty quick at checking addresses, so this customer has made a twenty-second part of the order take two minutes. To be fair, though, if management or a shift leader (or someone inexperienced) recognizes a street or address, they don’t check the address. Although it’s safe to check every time, because a few streets cross multiple delivery areas.

Me: “I’m sorry about that hold. It looks like you are within our delivery area, so what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, I could have told you that!”

The rest of the phone call was standard enough. They were on hold for a pretty short amount of time, and there was nothing else for them to complain about. The whole order part of the call probably took half the time that arguing about the address took. I can *usually* put down phone orders in the system and finish the call in less than a minute. 

Since it was a delivery, and I was the driver, I took it to the house. Someone answered the door and took their credit receipt into another room to sign it (even though I gave them a pen?), and that left me standing at the front door with someone else.

Their voice I could recognize from the phone. They took a long drag from their cigarette and said:

Customer: “You know… The person who took my order was a dumba**.”

Me: “Oh?”

I was pretty surprised at that comment and took a step back, but tried to hide it. I may have smiled.

Customer: “Ya, they kept talking about how I wasn’t in their district or something, and they didn’t seem like they knew what they were doing.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry about that, it wasn’t your fault.”

The other customer came back with their receipt. They tipped me, and I gave them their food.

Me: “Thank you! Have a nice night!”

Customer: “Thank you!”

I smiled the whole drive back to the store.

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 29
No Vocation For Location, Part 28
No Vocation For Location, Part 27
No Vocation For Location, Part 26
No Vocation For Location, Part 25