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Manager: “When laying down the sod, make sure the green side goes up.”
Customer: “Are you serious? You have to tell me that the green side of the grass goes side up?”
Manager: “I wouldn’t have to say it if someone didn’t make the mistake.”
Me: “The Medic Recordings, how may I help you today?”
Customer: “You know why I’m calling! Can I just come?!”
Me: “Ma’am, what’s the problem?”
Customer: “Oh yes I’m sorry, it’s my son. He’s very sick.”
Me: “Ma’am this is a recording studio. Are you sure you dialed the right number?”
Customer: “WHAT?! The phone book says ‘The Medic’!”
Me: “Uh… it says The Medic Recordings, I believe…”
Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t care what you are. I’m coming in, my son has a terrible fever!”
Me: “Ma’am I don’t think we could help you–”
Customer: “JUST BE READY!”
*Click*
(Sure enough, she showed up about fifteen minutes later and was obviously drunk because she had no son nor did she know why she came.)
(Two customers have come in to rent some sound equipment that they need to DJ a party. I’ve given them all the basic equipment they need for the sound system.)
Me: “Is there anything else you need with your rental?”
Customer: “Yeah, we need something to make it sound better… like lights!”
Me: “…”
Elderly Female: “I didn’t know they had digital scales.”
Me: *rings through scale* “Yup, they’re pretty cool.”
Elderly Female: “Are they accurate?”
Me: “I believe so, they measure to one decimal place too so it’s more accurate to read than a normal scale.”
Elderly Female: “Oh that’s so lovely! I’m going to go home now and weigh myself naked!”
Me: *bad bad image in head*
Me: *to a customer opening the beer cooler* “I’m sorry, but alcohol sales close at midnight.”
Customer: “That’s okay, I’m just getting beer.”
This story is part of the “Customers Who Don’t Know How The World Works” roundup!
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