It’s Scary How Seriously They Take Christmas

, , , , , , , | Working | December 26, 2018

(A vendor comes into the store weekly, and I have to sign off on his paperwork every time. We are usually polite, even though I don’t know him well. It’s October 31st, so I’m wearing a bat necklace and pumpkin-shaped earrings.)

Me: “All right, paperwork looks good. Here you go. Happy Halloween!”

Vendor: “What did you say?”

Me: “I just wished you a happy Halloween.”

Vendor: “No! I don’t celebrate the devil’s holiday! How dare you shove it down my throat!”

Me: “I apologize.”

Vendor: “Yeah, you should! You sinners think everyone just participates in your Satan holiday! No! Some of us are good Christians!”

(He storms out. The next time I see him, he is a bit frosty to me. Then, I see him in December.)

Me: “All right. I made one note on page two, but I’m signing off, anyway. Have a good day.”

Vendor: “A good day? Don’t you mean, ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’?!”

Me: “Hmm? Okay, yeah.”

Vendor: “No, not, ‘yeah’! And don’t give me, ‘Happy Holidays’! Jesus is the reason for the season. I’m not leaving until you say Merry Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

Me: “You know you accused me of shoving Halloween ‘down your throat’?”

Vendor: “Yes, you did. What does that have to do with anything?”

Me: “I’m going to be bringing it up to your boss. Excuse me.”

(As I walked away, he yelled, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!” repeatedly to my back.)

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