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Whining About The Dining

| Working | November 12, 2013

Hogwarts U

| Dayton, OH, USA | Related | November 12, 2013

(My younger sister is going to graduate high school at 16, having a late birthday and having skipped a grade. She’s at an interview for her first choice college, and she texts me.)

Sister: “[COLLEGE] HAS A QUIDDITCH TEAM!”

Me: “Are you going to be a chaser, keeper, beater, or seeker?”

Sister: “Youngest seeker in a generation…”

Almost Bricked Himself

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Related | November 12, 2013

(My four-year-old daughter comes up to me while she is playing.)

Daughter: “I’ve got something in my pants!”

Me: “Er, what is it?”

Daughter: “LEGO!”

In Soviet Russia, Language Speaks You, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Related | November 12, 2013

(My girlfriend and I are at my parent’s apartment. My mom tends to be a bit overly hospitable, almost pushy even. My mom and I speak Russian, while my girlfriend can’t.)

Mom: “[Girlfriend’s Name], would you like something to drink?”

Girlfriend: “No thank you.”

(My mom turns to me, and starts speaking in Russian.)

Mom: “So what does she want?”

Me: *in Russian* “Sprite will be great.”

(My mom leaves and comes back with two cans of soda.)

Girlfriend: “I really should learn some Russian…”

Related:
In Soviet Russia, Language Speaks You

Days Of Future Past Relationships

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Related | November 12, 2013

(The ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ trailer has just been released online. I’m watching it for the first time with my mum. It comes to the part where it briefly shows a clip of young Professor X cupping Wolverine’s face closely to read his mind. I immediately crack up laughing.)

Mum: “What’s so funny? It seems kind of touching.”

Me: “Exactly. I’m just imagining the amount of shipping that this movie will create.”

(“Shipping” is romantically pairing characters together. I’ve explained this kind of thing to my mum before.)

Mum: *rolls eyes* “You and your weird websites.”

Me: “Shh, I’m listening for the sound of ship fan-fictions being typed on keyboards…”

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