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Batman Is Always Right

| Right | November 12, 2013


Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition

| Right | November 12, 2013

Mom Should Move To England

| MI, USA | Working | November 12, 2013

(My mom and I are ordering in a popular burger chain at a mall food court.)

Mom: “…and a hot tea.”

(The worker prepares our order. I get a cold drink as usual, but mom gets curious when she sees that the worker is holding two cold drink cups.)

Mom: “Excuse me, that was supposed to be a hot tea.”

Worker: “It is.”

(She looks into the cup. It’s hot tea, but since he put it in a cold drink cup, the heat of the tea is causing the wax to melt off the cup and float in the drink. Later, my mom tries her luck again at another branch of the same burger chain, in another town.)

Mom: “…and a hot tea.”

(Once again, a meal for each of us. Mom’s drink is in the proper Styrofoam cup for hot drinks this time, but she notices there’s no tea bag in it.)

Mom: “You don’t use teabags?”

Worker: “Oh, this is just iced tea that we put in the microwave.”

(She then has to explain to the worker how to make a proper hot tea. My mom’s third attempt is at a Mexican chain in our hometown.)

Mom: “…and a hot tea.”

Worker: “I don’t think we have hot tea, but we have these little bags that you can open up and make tea with. Will that do?”

Mom: “…yes?”

(Seriously, what is it about the concept of hot tea that’s so hard to understand?)

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Chaise The Source Of The Error

| USA | Working | November 12, 2013

(I work for a wholesaler. Basically, the customers come in and order from catalogs from merchandisers. The catalogs are very hard to understand and confusing, and the merchandisers all have a no-return policies. My manager is oblivious to this.)

Manager: “What is with all these wrong orders? Why can’t you do anything right?”

Me: “I’m sorry; it’s just that those catalogs are so hard to understand.”

Manager: “Nonsense. Even a moron can put in right orders. Are you stupid? Are you in fifth grade?”

(She continues to berate me, scoffing at the thought of the catalogs being too confusing. A few weeks later…)

Me: “What’s that ugly couch doing in our front window?”

Coworker: “The manager accidentally ordered it for a customer. Now she’s trying to sell it since she can’t return it!”

(The couch itself is a neon green with hideous zebra pillows.)

Me: “Ha! It looks like the couch for a pimp!”

(The manager left me alone after that!)

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Trying To Discount Their Claims

| Chisholm, MN, USA | Working | November 12, 2013

(My husband and I are members at a local museum, and I subscribe to their email newsletter. Our membership entitles us to $5 off the ticket price for performances, which is stated in the signup information, as well as every email they send about performances. We are at the ticket counter.)

Me: “We’d like two tickets for [dance performance]. I also have this email that says we get $5 off per ticket; can I show you on my phone?”

Clerk: “Um… I don’t think I can honor that.”

(The clerk flags down the manager, who is nearby and has heard the transaction thus far.)

Manager: “What is this about you wanting a discount?”

Me: “I have this email that says we’re entitled to $5 off per ticket—”

Manager: *accusatorily* “Oh, really? I’d just LOVE to see where you got that!”

Me: “I have this email that came directly from [Museum], see?”

(I show her the email on my phone.)

Manager: *to the clerk* “Give them the discount, and I’m going to make sure we don’t put that in our emails anymore!”

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