Our associate pastor is a retired gentleman in his early 70’s. Naturally, having to perform his pastoral duties “virtually” during the current pandemic is frustrating to him, but he accepts the restrictions gracefully, knowing that he is in a high-risk group. He posted on Facebook one day –

“I was half-asleep when I made myself a cup of coffee this morning and was startled when I brought it to my lips and I could not taste anything – I was convinced that I was coming down with the coronavirus!

Then I realized I had forgotten to put a coffee pod in the machine.”

A parent and their (adult?) child come in for an appointment.
We clarify that if possible the person not here for the appointment should wait in the car. For the safety of everyone.
We also clarify that if they are needed as part of the patient’s care team they can stay. (Like if the kid has anxiety or one of them interprets for the other, etc… we aren’t monsters.)

Parent: “So people just have to sit in their cars and freeze?”

(it’s like 34 out, cold but not crazy cold)

Me: “Well most cars have heaters but if yours doesn’t work of course you could wait in here to be comfortable.”

Yes I went there because **** this person.

If I ask someone to wait in their car and a week later they test positive for Covid you can bet this parent would be glad we had that person wait in the car and not be in the same building as their kid. You aren’t special. You’re a disease vector just like everyone else.

i am working drive thru in a fast food restaurant. its not that busy, its during school hours however it is a hot day and we are selling alot of ice creams (and the machine is not broken for a change). a group of teenagers come through and order a bunch of soft serve cones. upon receiving them thry just stuck them to the roof of their car for some reason and drive away. we all have what the hell moment and laugh. the next car pulls up and as we have the order ready hand it out straight away. as the presenter turns to pass out their drinks we just hear laughing and suddenly they throw a dead bird through the window they sped off straight away maniacally laughing. luckily it didnt hit anyone but its definitely the weirdest thing to happen!

I had just rescued a new puppy and was planning on having him fixed asap last year. Well my 6 yr. old nephew kept on asking me why Buster (my dogs name) why does my dog have two butts? I told him that Buster has only one butt. Nephew: no he does not, he has a regular butt and a monkey’s butt. Me: Wondering what he was talking about. Then it dawned on me!

To a six year old from behind, a male dog unaltered could look like he had two butts! LOL!

I did get Buster fixed and now no more “monkey butt”.

Kids and their imaginations!

At the time of this story, I recently realised that I am not straight, but pansexual. That means that I can be hypothetically attracted to anyone without a preference; gender just doesn’t matter or influence me.

I’m also very closeted, growing up in a religious and homophobic family, and going to see a movie about female heroes and villains with my father.

We’re standing at a store, getting snacks for the film, and my dad is listening to me rant on about why I’m excited for the film (technical production and the feminist strides made in it), when:

Dad: you sure are excited for this film, huh?
Me, a bit confused: yep
Dad: you sure you’re not a lesbian?

At this point I kind of panic but blurt out the only thing that comes to mind.

Me: I like men, i like dick, I’m sure I’m not

And proceed to laugh it off. He does too and he thinks nothing of it.

When I do come out, all I can think of is the fact I didn’t lie. I like men… i just happen to like everyone else too.