I am working on the retail stand when a customer approaches me to order.

Me: “hi, what would you like?”

Customer: “have you got any hotdogs?”

(The hotdog warmer is right behind me so I move out of the way. Several hotdogs are clearly visible)

Me: “yes, how many would you like?”

Customer: “one large one small”

Me: “I’m afraid we only have one size, just the ones you see here”

Customer stares blankly at me

Me: “so is that just two hotdogs for you?”

Customer “I want a large hotdog”

Me: “I’m sorry but these are the only ones we have, they just come in the one size”

Customer continues to stare blankly at me for several uncomfortable seconds until eventually…

Customer: “well, can you make one large?”

Me: “…”

(Sadly I don’t have magical hotdog-expanding powers)

*At the movie theatre where I work, we are very strict on the age ratings for films; if we are caught letting an underage person in to watch a film that is too old for them, we would get shut down and fined. Most guests dislike this policy, but we’re encouraged to stand firm.*

Guest: Hi, I’m picking up some tickets for Spy.

*This movie is a 15 certificate, and to pick up tickets you need a the payment card, the reservation number or some form of ID*

Me: Sure, do you have the card you paid with?

Guest: No.

Me: Okay, what about the e-mail with the reservation number?

Guest: No.

Me: …Okay, do you have some form of ID? That matches the name used to book the tickets?

Guest: My daughter booked them, I have her passport.

Me: *figuring no-one steals a passport just for movie tickets* Okay!

*I start looking up the reservation with the name. Then I look at the passport in front of me*

Me: Excuse me, how old is your daughter?

Guest: Uh… fifteen!

Me: *looking at her passport*

Guest: Well, she’s fifteen next week.

Me: …Her passport says she is 15 next January. We can’t allow her to see this film, but we will refund the tickets and you can see something else?

Guest: *irritated* Fine!

*I call down my supervisor and the guest says she needs to talk to her daughter, who was meeting her there. She has the tickets in her hand, ready to be refunded by my supervisor*

*After twenty minutes, we can’t find her anywhere. I’ve served other guests, and my supervisor says he saw some guests go in rather quickly to the screens. I decide to go and check the screen where, lo and behold, the guest is sat, ready to watch the 15 Certificate film, with her mother*

Me: Excuse me, were you the guest who was waiting for a refund?

Guest: Uh…

Me: Are you [name on passport]?

Daughter: Yes?

Me: You can’t be in here. You’re not old enough.

*They threw a fit, and eventually slunk out when I told them – repeatedly – it was against the law. EVERYONE in the theatre was staring, and they were very embarrassed. I’ve worked there for a year and no-one over the age of about 12 has ever actually snuck into a screen before!*

(I’m quite new as a cashier, and a self important man dressed in leather and wearing lots of gold jewelry like one of those rock stars walks up to me. He obvioisly thinks he looks great, but in my opinion he looks silly. His son is about six.)

Father: “Now, son, give your toy to the lady.”

(He does, and I ring it up.)

Me: “Thatll be $9.99.”

Father: *smugly* “Give her your allowance money.”

(The son gives me a hundred dollar bill. Sighing, I count out his change, making sure that I do it carefully, since it’s a big amount. The son takes it and puts it in his pocket along with his toy.)

Father: *sharply* “Wait!”

(The father accuses me of short hanging his son while the son watches. Long story short, my drawer is short by twenty because of this father of the year. Really, dad? What’s next, showing your kid grand theft auto?

Standing near the exit to the store; two boys pass me on their way out.

I hadn’t seen them while they’d been in their, helped them, or spoke to them at all.

The one holds up his hand in a fist and says “Keep it real” we proceed to fist bump as he walks out the door.

I have never laughed so hard in all my life!

I work at a retail store in England. One day this woman comes up to the counter and the following happens.

Me: Hello. Did you find everything today?

Woman: (No Answer)

I continue to scan the items
until i get to the total.

Woman: THATS NOT THE RIGHT F*****G PRICE

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, which one is incorrect?

Woman: THE HANDBAG YOU F*****G IDIOT !!

Me: Ok, if you show me where the handbag is i can have a look at the signage and correct the price for you.

She walks me over to the bag and i explain that, that particular item is not on sale.

Woman: GET ME YOUR F*****G MANAGER

I walk over to the phone and call the manager to come down.

Me: The manager is just over coming down, she will be with you in a moment.

less than 30 seconds later the woman slaps her hand on the desk and screams abuse at me.

Woman: WHERE IS THE FUCKING MANAGER YOU C**T !!! I TOLD YOU TO GET ME THE FUCKING MANAGER !! IF I DONT HAVE A MANAGER HERE IN 2 SECONDS I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED !!!!

My colleague then politely replies for me

Colleague: If you would just like to wait a few more seconds I’m sure the manager will be right with you.

The woman then really makes a turn for the worst. She leans over the desk grabs my colleagues shirt and pulls her in

Woman: YOU F*****G LITTLE COW!! I WILL HAVE YOUR JOB FOR THAT!! YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME F*****G MANNERS !!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!! CONSIDER YOURSELF FIRED YOU F*****G LITTLE C**T !!!

At this point my colleague is in tears and another colleague comes to take her away from the situation. She takes my colleague away and another one comes in.

Colleague 2: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO OUR STAFF LIKE THAT!! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TALK TO AN EMPLOYEE LIKE THAT, LET ALONE TOUCH THEM !!!!

By this point my manager has seen all of the events and comes over to intervene.

Manager: What seems to be the problem?

Woman: IM F*****G SUING YOU FOR FALSE ADVERTISEMENT!! ON TOP OF THAT YOUR B***H OF AN EMPLOYEE JUST VERBALLY ASSAULTED ME !! IM GOING TO HEAD OFFICE AND THE POLICE ABOUT THIS!!!

Manager: Actually MADAM. You were VERBALLY ABUSING my staff. I have heard the entire altercation and i have a good mind to call the police myself and have you arrested.

Woman: YOU CANT CALL THE F*****G POLICE ON ME!! I KNOW MY RIGHTS !!

Manager: Actually i can call the police, and if you don’t leave my store immediately i will.

Woman: IM NOT FUCKING LEAVING UNTIL YOU FIRE THIS C**T OF AN EMPLOYEE AND GIVE ME A FREE HANDBAG !!

Manager: One, you are absolutely not getting a free handbag. Two. Here is the number for head office, feel free to make as many complaints against me as you like.

My manager then grabs the woman by the shirt pulls her in and says very clearly

Manager: AND THREE. IF YOU EVER TALK ABOUT OR TOO ANY OF MY EMPLOYEES LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY MY SON (points at me) LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL DROP YOU.

My mum/ manager then lets go of the woman. By this point the woman has turned white and proceeds to run out of the door.

The other customers and staff that have witnessed the whole event are in absolute shock but cheer my mum for what she did. Someone even brought her a cake.