Unfiltered Story #32162

Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

*this happened to one of my friends during health class, specifically during the week of sex ed*

Sex Ed Teacher: “Now kids, contrary to popular belief, everyone’s penis is the same size.”

*at this point, a random kid in the back pipes up*

Student:*holding his hand about 2 feet above the desk* “No, my d*** THIS big!”

Teacher: “[STUDENT]!! You will NOT use foul language in my class!”

Sex Ed Teacher: “The politically correct term is ‘penis.’

Student: “Ok. My penis THIS big!”

*my friend just silently laughs*

Unfiltered Story #66977

Unfiltered | October 18, 2015

A couple entered the furniture store I work at. They were older folks, and said they were looking for many things. I gave them a very short version of the floor layout, and asked them if it was alright for me to check on them sometimes to make sure their questions were answered. They said this was fine.

The first time I check on them, the very friendly husband asks me some questions, I answer them and dismiss myself to allow them to keep looking in peace.

The second time I check on them, the husband finds a very nice oak CD rack and asks me if we have anything more narrow. I tell him I might, and that I’ll check around the store and catch up to them in a few minutes. I dismiss myself after answering another question of his about a table.

I find an item that matches the description of the oak CD rack, but I cannot find the husband for the life of me. I see the wife walking, and go to inform her that I’d found it.

Me: “Oh, ma’am, about that item your husband was looking–”

Woman: “Look, I didn’t come here to chat! I came here to JUST LOOK!”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Woman: “Well you did!’

Me: “Just trying to feed my children, ma’am.”

With that, I look down at the floor, turn on heel and walk away pitifully. It has the desired effect (I don’t even have kids), and the customer loses all of her zeal, looks down at the floor, and walks straight out of the store in shame.

Maybe she’ll think twice from now on before she explodes on another retail salesperson for no reason at all.

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Unfiltered Story #27890

Unfiltered | October 17, 2015

(Note: this takes place while in homeroom before class actually starts with a few classmates)

Me to classmate #1: “so you don’t know who Will Ferrell is?

Classmate #2: “Name any funny movie and I garuntee Will Ferrell is in it.”

*we all turn to classmate #1*

Classmate #1: “Elf”

Unfiltered Story #47587

Unfiltered | October 17, 2015

Several years ago we were exchanging gifts on Christmas eve with my Grandma, my Uncle and his family, and my family. I was about 12 years old at the time. Things got interesting when my 6 year old cousin gave Grandma a gift- gold sparkly underwear.

Grandma: Wooohoo! sparkly underpants!

a few hours later we kids were playing with our new toys when Grandma burst out of the bedroom wearing a shirt…and the gold sparkly underwear. no pants. She ran around the entire house.!

Grandma: woohoo!!! Gold sparkly Underpants!!!!

my 10 year old cousin: What WAS THAT??

Me: I don’t want to know….

Unfiltered Story #56615

Unfiltered | October 17, 2015

(I’ve been on the bone marrow donors list for three years, and I’m pretty proud of it. Unfortunately, I get health problems. When I come back from the hospital, I send an email to the bone marrow agency, explaining exactly what happened to me and asking them if I can still be on the list. A few days later, I get a letter.)

Letter: “Dear [my name],

We are sorry to learn about what happened to you. Unfortunately, given your medical history we cannot keep you on the donor list. We thank you profusely for having been a “life watcher” for so long.”

(I feel very disappointed as being on the list was important to me. However, I try to remain optimistic and I tell my friends about becoming donors, hoping they can save a life one day. Some time later, I get another letter from the bone marrow agency.)

Letter: “Dear [my name],

There are many people in the world waiting to receive a bone marrow transplantation. Why don’t you become a donor?”

(The letter explains many things I ALREADY know, saying the transplant is harmless to the donor and anybody can save a life. I feel like crying as I REALLY wish I could get rid to my medical history and become a potential donor again. To the person who sent me that letter, I really admire the way the bone marrow agency help people and save lives but you really did hurt me on that day.)