Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Nip-Picking

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2010

(A customer brings her dog to the front desk in a panic.)

Customer: “My dog has fleas, so I need you to help me. I have been using the flea medication you gave me, but I can still see flea eggs.”

Me: “Ma’am, you can see flea eggs?”

Customer: “I have been trying to pick them off, but they seem to be stuck.”

Me: “Okay, can you show me the eggs you have been trying to pick off?”

(Customer lifts up the dog to show me the belly.)

Customer: “See! These!”

Me: “Ma’am, those are not flea eggs; they are his nipples.”

Customer: “Nipples? But he’s a male. How does he have nipples? They have to be flea eggs.”

Me: “I assure you, he has no fleas, and the ‘eggs’ you have been trying to pick off are in fact his nipples.”

Customer: “Get the vet. You don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s a male! He can’t have nipples.”

Me: “Ma’am, do human males have nipples?”

Customer: *stares blankly for a moment* “Well, s***!” *walks out*


This story is part of our Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup!

Read the next Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup story!

Read the Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup!

You’ve Got To Be Kitten

, , , , , | Right | July 21, 2010

(A caller says she’s found a kitten and is getting information on our services.)

Me: “…we also recommend spaying or neutering the kitten. This can be done around four to six months of age.”

Caller: “What would the cost be for that?”

Me: “A spay surgery runs about $100, and a neuter runs a little cheaper, around $70.  The spay is a bit more expensive because it’s more invasive and takes more time to do.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. I would definitely do the neuter since it’s cheaper.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the surgery depends on the kitten’s gender. If it’s a female, it’ll be a spay, and if it’s a male, it’ll be a neuter.”

Caller: “Why the difference?”


This story is part of our Take Your Cat To The Vet roundup!

Read the next Take Your Cat To The Vet roundup story!

Read the Take Your Cat To The Vet roundup!

Not All Customers Are Bona-Fido

, , , , , | Right | June 7, 2010

Me: “[Doctor]’s office; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, there! I was wondering if I could get an appointment for today?”

Me: “Most likely. What type of animal do you have?”

Customer: *noticeable pause* “I have a dog. I just need the shots to go overseas.”

Me: “How exciting! When are you traveling?”

Customer: “Tomorrow. I tried to get an appointment at the other doctor, but he couldn’t fit me in.”

Me: “Well, just for a vaccination, I think we can manage that around four pm today. Do you happen to know what shots your dog needs?”

Customer: “My dog?”

Me: “Yes… to go abroad.”

Customer: “Why would I give shots to my dog? He’s staying here. I need shots for my wife and me.”

Me: “Sir, this is a veterinarian’s office. We treat animals here.”

Customer: “But my flight’s tomorrow! Can’t you make an exception?”

Me: “Sir, that would be highly illegal. And we only carry shots designed for dogs. We don’t have the type you’d need.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m going to report you to the state!” *click*

(The phone rings a moment later.)

Me: “[Doctor]’s office; how can I help you today?”

Same Customer: “Um… my wife wants to know if you have dog boarding.”


This story is part of our Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup!

Read the next Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup story!

Read the Take Your Dog To The Vet roundup!

Hang Ups Over Children

, , , | Right | June 2, 2010

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic]. How can I help you today?”

(Note: the caller sounds around four years old. )

Caller #1: “Hello, is Aunt Betty there?”

Me: “I’m sorry, would you mind repeating that?”

Caller #1: “Can I speak to Aunt Betty?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Caller #1: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “Bye!”

(I hang up. Ten seconds later, the phone rings again.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic]. How can I help you today?”

Caller #2: “My niece just called here and must have got the wrong number.”

Me: *chuckling* “Yes, she thought–”

Caller #2: “Well, next time don’t hang up on her!” *hangs up*


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

Read the next Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup story!

Read the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

Putting The Spa In Spay

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2010

(A customer brings in his dog for a spay.)

Customer: “While she’s out, can you trim her nails? They’re getting real long.”

Me: “Of course, sir. We give all patients under anesthesia a complimentary nail trim.”

Customer: “Oh, you do? Would you give me a free pedicure, too?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “How about a massage?”


This story is part of our Weird Customers roundup!

Read the next Weird Customer story!

Read the Weird Customer roundup!