(I work as a pawn broker for a locally owned pawn shop, and because of a bet last year, I now wear a different costume every day I work during the month of October. My customers are pretty cool about it, and it works for advertising as people sometimes come in just to see what I’m wearing. All of my costumes are work appropriate and family friendly, as we’re a family oriented shop. On this particular day, I was wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume, which consisted of a long blue dress, white tights, and a large red cape.)

Me: *walks in for work, not even clocked in yet, and says hi to my coworker and the customer he’s helping* “Hey, good morn—”

Customer: *wolf whistles at me* “Ooh, honey, I’ll be your wolf!”

(I and my coworker stare at him dumbfounded until he leaves.)

Me: “Did… did that just happen?

(Because I am so creeped out by that one statement, I change my Little Red Riding Hood costume to jeans, a button up black shirt, a faux-fur collar and the cape. Another day:)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer: *gives me a gross grin* “Oooh, honey! You need a wolf?”

Me: *after he leaves, face-desks* “Why does this keep happening to me?!”

(Often we have people wanting to pick up items that have been pawned in their spouses/parents/sibling’s name. This is possible; however the original ticket is required in order to avoid theft. Occasionally, if they don’t make it in by their due date the item is pulled for sale. If this happens and they come in and want it back, they are able to buy it back and we only charge them the loan amount plus interest.)

Customer: “I want to pick up my tablet but I don’t have the ticket.”

Me: “Okay, let me get your ID and I can look that up for you.”

(After several minutes of searching using her name and her ID number separately, I am unable to find said tablet.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it doesn’t seem to be here. Could it be under anyone else’s name? Maybe a friend or relative?”

Customer: “No. It’s definitely in my name. Just go in the back and look for it.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. We do have a lot of tablets and I wouldn’t usually do this, but since it’s a slow day I can spare a few minutes to have a look.”

(After ten minutes of searching, I still can’t find the tablet.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t find it. Are you sure it was at our store?”

Customer: “It was definitely here and it was definitely in my name. Did you sell it? It wasn’t due!”

Coworker: “Could it be in your husband’s name?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I look under her husband’s name and sure enough, there it is. Since she doesn’t have the original ticket, she is not able to pick it up.)

Me: “Well, it looks like we found it. Unfortunately, since it isn’t in your name and you don’t have the ticket, your husband will have to come in to pick it up.”

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS. HE IS MY HUSBAND! Well, I have some other things to pick up under my name. Another tablet and an Xbox One.”

(I look up her name again to find that the tablet was pulled a full two months ago. She loaned $200. That plus the interest for the full two month loan and the two months since it was pulled would have come to $360, but since it’s been a rough day already I decide to just charge her for three months, which comes to $320.)

Me: “Here’s the Xbox, ma’am. It looks like your tablet was pulled some time ago, as your last day of grace was two months ago. You can buy it back at $320, which is your loan amount plus three months of interest.”

Customer: “No. [Manager] said she would keep it for me and it would be $240 to buy it back.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, that would be the cost if you picked it up one month into your two month loan period. There’s no way I can give it to you for that, considering it’s been four months.”

(The customer then leaves with her Xbox One. Later, she returns with her husband, carrying the Xbox One box. They pick up the tablet that was in his name and do not mention the one that was pulled. They then call my manager over.)

Customer: “I picked up this Xbox but you stole my controllers. I need you to give me new controllers.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but it says in our system that we didn’t take in any controllers. I can call the employee who took it in to be sure though.”

(She calls the employee, who confirms that the customers took the controllers home with them.)

Manager: “I’m sorry but she did confirm that we never took in any controllers.”

Customer: “You stole my controllers! Call the police! I want my controllers!”

Manager: “If you like, we can get the footage from the cameras up. But even if we do see that you did not take the controllers with you, we won’t be able to replace them tonight. We are already closed and since we don’t have any Xbox One controllers in stock we’ll have to send someone to buy some tomorrow.”

(The customer begins shouting and screaming about wanting to play Xbox tonight. Eventually, her husband manages to convince her to leave. We did manage to find the footage, and she did take the controllers home with her. The next day, she came back in.)

Customer: “Do you have my controllers yet?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We were able to find the footage and you did take them with you. We won’t be able to replace your controllers as you never left them with us.”

Customer: “I CAN’T BELIEVE Y’ALL ARE TRYING TO STEAL FROM ME. YOU BETTER GET SOMEONE WITH EYES TO LOOK AT THAT VIDEO BECAUSE Y’ALL STOLE MY CONTROLLERS!”

(As she’s shouting, I hear my manager on the phone.)

Manager: “Okay, they’re sending someone to take a look.”

Customer: “Who?”

Manager: “The police.”

Customer: “OH, THAT’S HOW IT IS? YOU’RE GONNA CALL THE POLICE ON ME?”

(The customer RAN out the door, never to be seen again.)

(I work in a pawn shop, and one day, a punk girl in her 20s with piercings and a mohawk comes in to the store with her boyfriend. On this day, I’ve chosen Disney’s Tangled to play on the display TVs.)

Punk Girl: *sees what I have playing on the TVs* “Oh, my god, is that Tangled? I love this movie!”

Me: “Would you like to buy a copy? Almost every time I play it in here, I sell at least one.”

Punk Girl: *stops singing along for a moment* “No, thanks. I already own it. And the soundtrack.”

(She walked away singing along and dancing, making my day. I took this as proof that things are sometimes the complete opposite of what they appear to be.)

(We have a small version of the Mona Lisa for sale.)

Customer: “How much is that?”

Me: “15 dollars.”

Customer: “Is it the original?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. I’m trying to get my hands on the original.”

(A customer in their 50s walks into my pawn shop, which sells weapons.)

Customer: “Yeah, can you get me that shotgun behind the table?”

Me: “Sure, do you have your license and registration?”

Customer: “Yeah, right here.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. There’s a five-day waiting period for firearms. Come back soon.”

(He looks disappointed, but forks over the cash and walks out. Five days later…)

Customer: “Okay, dude, I’m back. Where’s the gun?”

Me: “Right here, sir…

(I make the transaction and hand him his shotgun.)

Me: “Have a nice day and come back soon!”

(About one minute after the customer leaves the store, I hear several loud shotgun blasts. I look through the window and the man is firing rounds into the air! He then runs into the store.)

Customer: “The zombie invasion has begun! It’s every man for himself!”

(I hide under the desk and press the silent alarm. Five minutes later, the police arrive, taser the guy, and bring him out of our backroom in cuffs. I work at an ice cream store now.)