(It’s the holiday season and my 6-year-old daughter and I are in our local library. Money had been a little bit tight lately, since we’ve had to spend on decorations and presents and I’m a single parent. The library loans out DVDs, $5 for a week but there is a special section where kids DVDs are free and they are generally Disney movies or kids cartoons/TV shows.)

My Daughter: “Mom, can I get this Despicable Me DVD please? It was in the kids section!”

Me: “Sure thing sweetie. Let me just get my card so we can go.”

(As I self issue the DVD out, I realise it was misplaced in the kids’ section and actually costs $5. My daughter sees this on the screen.)

My Daughter: “No mom, it’s too expensive! I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “It’s only 5 dollars! It’s fine; we can get it.”

My Daughter: “No no no! I don’t want it anymore!”

(Not wanting to cause a tantrum from her, I go up to the library assistant behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi there, I issued out this DVD a couple of minutes ago, but my daughter doesn’t want it anymore. I was wondering if I could return please?”

Library Assistant: “Is there something wrong with the DVD?”

Me: “Oh, not at all. There was just a little misunderstanding with the price.”

Library Assistant: “Oh. Well, tell you what! Take it for free. Just give me your card and I’ll take the charge off.”

Me: “Thank you! I know it doesn’t seem like much but, $5 is a lot to us. Thank you so much, happy holidays!”

(When I returned to my daughter with the DVD in my hand and told her the whole story, she was grinning from ear to ear. She got up and ran by herself to thank the lovely library assistant and he even gave her a high-five! We’re much better off now, but I’ll never forget that small act of kindness.)

(I work in the deli department of my local supermarket, and am calling out the numbers of the tickets.)

Me: “Number 24? Does anybody have ticket number 24? Anybody at all?”

(At this point, I think someone might have grabbed two tickets by accident off the ticket dispenser and decide to skip ahead to the next number.)

Me: “Oh well, then… number 25?”

(The customer with ticket 25 starts ordering what she wants, when suddenly the customer with ticket 24 storms over. She has clearly been on the phone.)

Customer #24: *huffed voice* “Excuse me? I was before this lady. I was number 24!”

Me: “Just one second, ma’am. I’ll serve you after this customer.”

(Customer #25 smiles shyly at me.)

Customer #24: “Well, I was before this lady!” *puts a rude smirk when referring to her* “Clearly, because I was number 24!”

Me: “Well, I was calling your number for a good while before I started serving this lady. You weren’t even at the deli counter.”

Customer #24: “I WAS STILL FIRST!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you just let me serve this customer quickly, I’ll get to you in just a—”

(Suddenly, Customer #25 decides they’ve had enough of Customer #24 and speaks up in my defense.)

Customer #25: “Well, how the bloody h*** is he supposed to know he’s skipped someone when nobody answers his calls?! How’s he supposed to know you’re off in another aisle on the phone? You know it’s people like you that make his day so much worse!”

Customer #24: *stomps off*

(As I am ringing up a customer at my register, I try and make conversation.)

Me: “How’s your day going?”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How’s your day going?”

Customer: “What an absurd thing to ask someone you don’t even know! How dare you!”

Me: “Okay? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I don’t care, don’t ever ask something like that again!”

Me: “Bye.”

(I guess she was having a bad day.)

(The call centre I work at specializes in roadside assistance. We have a script to follow to ensure that we get the customer the proper service. This call comes in at 9:20, ten minutes before the end of my shift.)

Me: “Thank you for calling roadside assistance. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “My car won’t open!”

Me: “Okay, I can certainly help with that. May I have your policy number?”

Caller: “Why do you need that?”

Me: “So I can access your policy and confirm coverage.”

Caller: “Fine! It’s [number].”

Me: “Thank you. And may I have your first and last name?”

Caller: “Just send someone!”

Me: “I’d be happy to, ma’am, but first I need to verify the information in our files.”

Caller: “I gave you my policy number! You don’t need anything else!”

(We actually can’t go forward in the program without the customer’s name. I explain that to her and she eventually confirms her name.)

Me: “I’m showing that you’re in Texas. And what is the year, make, and model of your vehicle, ma’am?”

Caller: “You don’t need that! Stop asking so many questions! Just unlock my car!”

Me: “Ma’am, in order to send out service, we have to know what type of vehicle needs to be unlocked. Different vehicles require different equipment.”

(She argues with me for 5 more minutes. At this point, I am supposed to be off about 20 minutes ago. She finally confirms the vehicle.)

Me: “What colour is that vehicle?”

Caller: “God d*** it! Why are you asking so many questions?! I use this service all the time! They never ask me so many questions! Send me service now!”

Me: *losing patience* “Look, Ms. [name]. We are required to ask these questions on every single call, so when you called us last time, you were most definitely asked all of this. If you want me to send someone to you right now, they’ll never find you because not only will they not know what car to look for, but they’ll be driving around the whole of Texas, since you haven’t told me where you are. Now, if you’ll answer the rest of my questions, I can dispatch someone to your location. Otherwise, I suggest you find a large rock.”

(After that, she answered every question with no problem, and I found a locksmith who could be there in 15 minutes. The next day, I got an email from another rep saying that the woman had called back in to apologize for how she treated me!)

(The fun center where I work is having a big countdown celebration on New Year’s Eve, and I’m working the arcade. We serve alcohol to adult patrons. As we get closer to midnight, a man and a woman approach the counter. I game in my spare time, and the man in the pair looks exactly like Gordon Freeman from Half-Life.)

Me: “How are you folks today?”

Man: *inebriated* “Oh, look, a Speederman tattoo. Can I get that?” *he should have said Spider-man*

Woman: “Sure.”

(She gives me her tickets, and I give him the tattoo. He is ecstatic about it.)

Man: “Speederman! This is so awesome! I’m gonna put it on!” *starts stripping*

Me: “Sir!”

Woman: “What are you doing?”

Man: “Speederman!”

(She manages to convince him to put his shirt back on, and I had to turn away so they wouldn’t see me laughing. To this day, I refer to that as the New Year’s Eve when I saw Gordon Freeman stripping for Spider-man.)

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