Half-Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

(The fun center where I work is having a big countdown celebration on New Year’s Eve, and I’m working the arcade. We serve alcohol to adult patrons. As we get closer to midnight, a man and a woman approach the counter. I game in my spare time, and the man in the pair looks exactly like Gordon Freeman from Half-Life.)

Me: “How are you folks today?”

Man: *inebriated* “Oh, look, a Speederman tattoo. Can I get that?” *he should have said Spider-man*

Woman: “Sure.”

(She gives me her tickets, and I give him the tattoo. He is ecstatic about it.)

Man: “Speederman! This is so awesome! I’m gonna put it on!” *starts stripping*

Me: “Sir!”

Woman: “What are you doing?”

Man: “Speederman!”

(She manages to convince him to put his shirt back on, and I had to turn away so they wouldn’t see me laughing. To this day, I refer to that as the New Year’s Eve when I saw Gordon Freeman stripping for Spider-man.)