(In college, I worked for a large chain hotel that had several different locations, though each had a different title and some were owned by different companies. A customer calls me up for directions:)
Customer: “Can you tell me why I’m at the Hotel Safari, not the Hotel Lodge?”
Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
Customer: “I got off my plane at the airport, and the guy at [Car Rental Company] told me to go here, and it’s not the right hotel!”
Me: “I apologize that happened to you. Can I give you directions to our hotel?”
Customer: “I want you to explain how you let this happen.”
Me: “I don’t… I don’t work for the car rental company. Someone sent you to the wrong hotel. I don’t know why they did that.”
Customer: “You could have called them to make sure they know where your f****** hotel is!”
Me: ” Would you like me to give you directions?”
(After going back and forth for a few minutes, he finally agrees to let me give him directions.)
Me: “So you’re still at the Hotel Safari, right?”
Customer: “No, I’m driving around looking for your f****** hotel.”
Me: “Can you tell me what street you’re on?”
Customer: “Did you listen to what I’m saying, buddy? I’m not from here. I don’t know the streets.”
Me: “Can you look at a street sign and tell me what it says?”
Customer: *tells me the street name*
Me: “Okay, I need you to go south, that will take you to the freeway on-ramp.”
Customer: “Buddy, I am not from here! How am I supposed to know which way that is?”
Me: “South is the same direction no matter what city you’re in.”
Customer: “That’s not true.”
(We argue about that, until I finally ask him where the setting sun is, on his right or on his left. We argue about the sun, too, until he tells me that it’s on his right.)
Me: “So the sun sets in the west. If the setting sun is on your right, that means you’re facing south, and I just need you to drive the same direction you’re on down that street, and get on the freeway.”
Customer: “Well how will I know where the freeway is?”
Me: “Uh…” *I pause, not knowing how to phrase this without sounding rude*
Customer: “Yeah, that’s a problem, isn’t it, buddy?”
Me: “No, I’m just wondering if you’ve ever seen a freeway before.”
(He insists that I stay on the phone with him and navigate him all the way to the hotel. Finally, he gets in the door, and is just as snippy as I ask him to fill out the guest information form and sign his name.)
Customer: “I didn’t mean to be rude with you, but you have to realize I’m not from here.”
Me: “I apologize. No one ever taught me how to give directions without using street names or cardinal directions.”
(He started to get angry, and then realized I have a point. He took his keys and went to his room, and I never heard from him again.)
