Two Can Play This Game, Lady

One Saturday, I go to pick up some groceries. As I’m shopping with my trolley, I hear the harrumph of an approaching woman behind me, but to my surprise, she walks straight past me to [Customer #2], demanding this, that, and the other.

Customer #2: “Sorry, but I don’t work here.”

As [Customer #1] starts accusing him of lying, etc., I figure that I’ll stick around and see what happens. It might be funny, but if she assaults the guy or accuses him of something, I’ll be a witness.

As I’m listening to [Customer #2] reiterate that he doesn’t work here and [Customer #1] repeatedly accuse him of lying, another customer comes past and addresses [Customer #1] in a big, booming voice.

Customer #3: “Finally, a manager! Some woman just accused me of not helping her when I’m a customer here. Now, what are you going to do about it?”

Customer #1: “What? I’m not a manager! What do you—”

Customer #3: “Of course, you’re a manager. I’ve seen you talking to customers. Now you are going to help me.”

Customer #1: “I was just talking to…”

But in the confusion, [Customer #2] had wisely ducked out, leaving [Customer #1] gesturing at an empty space. Suddenly, she is alone.

Customer #3: “Well, hanging around speaking to staff isn’t very professional, is it? You should be doing your job, helping customers. Starting with me.”

Customer #1: “I don’t f****** work here! F*** off!”

And she walks off, clearly upset, abandoning her shopping trolley in the process.

[Customer #2], who’s been waiting on the next aisle, comes back.

Customer #2: “Ahh, she’s gone.”

Customer #3: “Yeah, well, that got rid of her.”

He smiled vaguely and just continued shopping like nothing had happened. [Customer #3], whoever you are, you’re a legend.

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