The Power Of The Lanyard

(I am shopping at a popular punk/pop culture outfitter for some new shirts. I have recently moved onto a nearby college dorm and am wearing a lanyard with my keycard and keys on it that clearly have my school logo on them. I am also wearing a t-shirt referencing a popular rock band and an animated series and have a purple streak dyed in my hair. As I’m stepping out of the dressing room with several shirts, I am approached by two fellow customers.)

Customer #1: “Hi, is it okay if I try these clothes on after I buy them?”

Me: “…what?” *thinking she may be asking the employee nearby*

Customer #1: *looking me in the eye* “Yes, I want to try them on AFTER I purchase them.”

Me: *deer in headlights* “Uh… I guess there’s no harm in that.”

Customer #1: “Excellent, thank you!” *goes to pay*

(Immediately behind her, Customer #2 approaches me, having heard the entirety of our conversation.)

Customer #2: “Do you have dressing rooms?”

Me: “Yes…?” *points to the room I just exited*

(He leaves, and I turn to my friend.)

Me: “They both thought I worked here!”

Friend: *laughing* “Maybe you should apply here!”

(Considering the stupidity of those two customers, maybe I should NOT.)