23 Spectacularly Scary Stories About The Spooky Season! Happy Halloween From Not Always Right!

Dear readers,

It’s Halloween! It’s also this particular editor’s favorite holiday of the year, which is why this roundup is exploding with costumes, pumpkins, and all manner of scary and ghoulish customers. 2020 has been a strange year, and Halloween might not be as crazy as some had hoped (especially since it falls on a Saturday this year!), so hopefully, this batch of stories will help you finish out the spooky season with a bloody smile on your face!

There’s Dumb, And Then There’s Scary Dumb – The scariest thing is that this person has probably reproduced.

Conscience: We Loves It – Hits from the comments: “Screaming, ‘Don’t judge me!’ just makes me want to judge you that much more.”

We Ain’t Got Jack – They say that when you fail to plan, you plan to fail. They’re right.

Not If You’re Tim Burton – In this town we call home… Halloween and Christmas are pretty interchangeable.

D Is For Definitely Shiny – Shine bright like a diamond… not like this customer.

Size Matters, Part 2 – Welcome back to the wild world of the impossible demands tag.

Like Taking Candy From A Baby, Kids, And Everyone Else – Someone missed the day in kindergarten when we all learned about sharing.

He Is Twice The Man – Hits from the comments: “‘You will be eaten alive violently.’ Is there a way to do that without violence?”

Monster Having A Ball – This monster’s no pushover.

Dying For Some Pie – Nothing’s gonna harm you… not while I’m around…

Actors Of The Corn – If I wasn’t an editor, I think I’d want to be a scare actor.

The Bruise Is A Ruse – ACK! A customer who cares!

Number Of The Beastly Coincidences – Wow! What a shocking coincidence!

Even The Batcave Has A Woman’s Restroom – Batman works retail. Who knew?

She Passed With Flying Colors – This one makes my heart as warm as a big mug of apple cider.

Mothers Can Be Soul-Destroying – This kid gets it.

More Stupid Than Homer Simpson – Hits from the comments: “I mean, that does sound like something Homer Simpson would do, so…”

They’re Slippery Costumes To Get – Waiting until Halloween to buy your costume is just bananas.

How Spiders Say Hallow – Hits from the comments: “I am a thirty-two-year-old police officer. I run towards danger, but drop a spider in front of me and I’ll go the other way. Just hope the criminals never find out.”

Halloweird – At least they were nice! That seems to be asking a lot these days.

A Despicable Lack Of Attention – Assemble the minions!

A True Halloween Horror Story – Gosh, it’s almost like you’re also paying for quality service and attention to detail.

The Devil Wears Costumes – We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: the scariest things at Halloween are customers.

The Worst Cookies In London – Full disclosure: I’ve never seen Labrynth. But even I know about the babe!

We hope you enjoyed our Halloween-themed roundup to close out the spooky season! Want to send in your own story? Submit your story here!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

20 Crazy Customer Stories To Ring In The Pumpkin Spice Season!

23 Terrifying Tales Of Creepy Children