(I’ve been having a really bad day due to a customer I had earlier. An older gentleman comes up to my till and I smile weakly at him.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer #1: “I’m doing just fine, little lady. How are you?”

Me: “I’m all right. Are you getting the dog food as well?”

Customer #1: “Yes, but I’m going to pay for that with cash, if that’s all right?”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I continue to check out the grocery portion of it and he pays. I next begin scanning the dog food when a woman behind him in line sees it and flicks her gaze to Customer #1.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, sir?”

(Both he and I look at the woman. I’m bracing myself for an altercation.)

Customer #2: “I just really love dogs. Would you mind if I buy those for you?”

Customer #1: “Y-you don’t have to!”

Customer #2: “I know, but I want to. I really love dogs and I want to do anything I can for them.”

(With Customer #1’s blessing, she added the cans of dog food to her $30 order. Faith in humanity was restored and my day improved after that!)

(It is 10 minutes to closing time on a Saturday night. I am the only one in my department tonight, and I notice a customer walk in to the store.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Company]! What brings you in today?”

Customer: “Just looking around, thank you.” *starts to walk over to our tool chest section*

Me: “Was this your first time purchasing or were you looking to upgrade your tool chest?”

Customer: “No, thank you. Just looking.”

(I leave the customer so they can look around a bit while I make sure there are no other customers are in my department.)

Me: “Alrighty, then. If you need anything, please let me know.”

(I help and ring up the other customers that were in my department, and I notice the customer is still looking around the same section.)

Me: “Hello again. Were you able to make a decision?”

Customer: “No, still just looking.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I give them some useful product information about the various tool chests before walking away again. I go to prep the registers for closing time, and lock the doors. Immediately after locking the last door, I turn around and see the customer staring at me with wide eyes and planted feet. I open the door and greet the customer.)

Me: “H… Hi there, were you able to make a decision?”

Customer: “Yes. Where were you?”

Me: “I do apologize. It is 20 minutes after closing time, and I had to start locking up. Which one were you looking at purchasing today?”

Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t going to purchase today… I just needed to know if this was in stock.”

(I check stock on the register, and we have several available.)

Me: “Yes, sir. We do have them in stock.”

Customer: “Will they still be here on Tuesday?”

Me: “Unfortunately, since it’s Saturday, I cannot guarantee that it will be in and I can only place items on hold to be picked up on the same day of inquiry.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll be back on Tuesday.”

Me: “Certainly. Here’s my card, and make sure to let them know you spoke to me when you pick it up. Also, feel free to ask them any more questions.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

(I unlock one of the doors, let the customer out, lock it back up. I start closing down the registers, and see one of our cool supervisors walk up to the one I’m counting.)

Supervisor: “Hey, you all right?”

Me: “Yeah. Hey, do me a favor.”

Supervisor: “Yeah?”

Me: “Remind me to never play Silent Hill before coming to work ever again!”

(We both laughed.)

Return Of The Geeks! Theme Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s theme of the month!

1. I’ll Take A Groot Beer (914 thumbs up)
2. Talking At-At Cross Purposes (1,433 thumbs up)
3. The New Job Is Very Loki (1,368 thumbs up)
4. Don’t Be Tardy With The Tardis Drink (1,032 thumbs up)
5. A Smashing Deal (991 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

(I am working the closing shift at the store. We close at 7 pm and it’s just gone 7:15 pm. The last customer has just left the shop so I go to shut the doors and lock them when a customer pushes past me and runs into the store.)

Me: “I am so sorry sir, but we have closed for the evening.”

Customer: “No, you haven’t.”

Me: “I can assure you, sir, that we have. We close at 7 pm each evening.”

Customer: “But it’s after 7 and you are still here. Stop lying to me.”

(The customer ignores me, grabs a basket and proceeds to do his shopping. I inform my manager of the situation and my manager and I approach the customer.)

Manager: “Sir, we have closed for the evening so I am asking you politely to leave. We reopen at 5 am tomorrow morning. Please feel free to come back then.”

(The customer began swearing at us before reluctantly leaving the store after 7:30 pm. Several days later my manager informed me that the customer had tried this three nights in a row! Needless to say we got an extra sign with the hours of the store placed on the doors.)

Me: “Okay, what kind of veggies would you like on your sandwich?”

Customer: “I’ll take lettuce, spinach, olives, and asparagus.”

Me: “Uh, we don’t have asparagus.”

(Her tone suddenly becomes very snide and she points at a bin of vegetables.)

Customer: “Well, what do you call that then?”

Me: “…banana peppers.”

Customer: “So that’s not yellow asparagus?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure if we sold yellow asparagus we’d be shut down. Asparagus is green.”

Customer: *embarrassed* “Well, I’m sure a lot of people make that mistake.”

Me: “Nope.”