(I am Italian. My son is about 4-years-old. My 6-year-old daughter gives him an extra tea set she does not want. I walk into his room to find him with the tea set. It is set out with several toys; teddy bear, Batman, Power ranger, T-Rex, etc.)

Me: “So, are you having a tea party?”

(He looks at me rather quizzically. He holds up the pot and points to it.)

Son: “This is espresso!”

(I shed a tear and feel so proud, as espresso is so much a part of our family. He is in college now. The first thing I bought him for his dorm room: an espresso machine!)

(I’m listening to music with one ear-bud. My mom and I are on our laptops when she lets one rip.)

Me: “Mom!”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “You can’t blame that one on the dog.”

Mom: “Oh, I thought you had your headphones in!”

Me: “Not… always… related… .com… Add quote.”

Mom: “Is nothing sacred anymore!?”

(My sister is playing ‘Assassins Creed: Revelations’ for the first time.)

*slicing noise*

Sister: “Oh my God!”

Me: “What?”

Sister: “I just killed someone!”

(She starts laughing hysterically.)

Me: “What?!”

Sister: “It’s an innocent person! Look, I’m standing on top of her!”

Me: “Oh, dear God.”

Sister: *continues laughing hysterically* “Oh, crap. I think it’s a nun!”

(A customer walks into the shop and starts looking at our cakes.)

Customer: “Cheesecake?” *points at a carrot and walnut cake*

Coworker: “No, that’s a carrot cake. We have cheesecake right over here.”

(I show the customer the cheesecake.)

Customer: “Okay.”

(The customer walks away, but returns ten minutes later.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “That’s cheesecake?” *points at the carrot cake again*

Me: “No, sorry. That’s a carrot cake.”

Customer: “Cheesecake?” *points at another cake*

Me: “No, that’s an orange and coconut cake. The cheesecake’s here.”

(I show her the cheesecake, once again.)

Customer: *incredulously* “That’s cheesecake?!”

(She eventually buys the cheesecake, but only after it taking a while to convince her it is actually cheesecake!)

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(I am on working the register during a busy day and the line is building up fast. I have finished ringing up a customer and am gathering some information.)

Me: “And can I have your zip code, please?”

Customer: “Sure, it’s [zip code].”

Me: “All right, and a phone number?”

(The customer rattles off a number that sounds exactly like a social security number.)

Me: “Um, sir, that sounds like it would be your social security number.”

Customer: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You tricked me into giving you my social security number!”

Me: *speechless*