It’s Not Just Customers Who Overshare

I was at the liquor store recently purchasing two bottles of wine. That’s not something I normally do, but I cook with wine, and I was out of one type and needed the other for a new recipe. I approached the register and saw that the cashier had a beautiful shade of blue-purple hair. 

Me: “Oh, I love your hair! It’s really pretty.”

Cashier: “I love yours, too!”

I moved the two bottles up the belt for her to scan. She paused and, entirely out of nowhere and apropos of nothing, asked:

Cashier: “Oh, my God, are you pregnant?”

I was taken aback but coherent enough to respond.

Me: “Christ, no. I hope not, anyway.” 

For the record, I am very petite (5’0″), and while I’m not a waif, I am not heavy, either, but with a small chest and not having a bra on, other parts were sticking out more than my breasts at the time. It was already strange enough to be asked that question, without even factoring in that I was buying TWO BOTTLES OF WINE.

Cashier: “Well, we’re all in this together, right? I have one son, and that’s it for me.”

She then proceeded to LIFT UP HER SHIRT and show me her stretch marks! I work in the area of sexuality and am all for openness and body positivity, but I did not know this woman from a hole in the wall.

For lack of knowing anything else to say, I just said:

Me: “…Wow.”

She finished ringing me up.

Cashier: “Have a good day, love!”

Cue me walking to my car, shaking my head in disbelief, and wishing that I would’ve responded, “Yes. I’m drinking for two now,” if I hadn’t been so caught off guard. To this day, I’m still not sure how that whole exchange happened.