A Mosh-ionary Tale

I recently attended a concert featuring various bands that had their roots in the 1990s. I had tickets in the pit — on the floor, right up against the stage — with my mom, my friend, and my friend’s fiancé. I expected it to get quite rowdy, but I didn’t expect to see what is probably the funniest confrontation I have ever witnessed.

Throughout the whole show, there was an event security guard standing nearby that was huge. He was at least 6’8” and over 350 pounds. The crowd wasn’t too crazy until the headliner came on stage. Then, people started sneaking into the pit and were promptly told to return to their seats. Most accepted defeat and returned to their respective areas with no complaints.

One guy, however, just kept coming back and he had obviously had way too much to drink by this point. The big security guard told him to leave several times, and it was clear he was getting irritated at the guy. He told him one final time that if he found him in the pit once again, he’d be thrown out for good.

The guy (who was smaller than me, and I’m six foot even) decided the best course of action was to attack this mountain of a security guard. My friend’s fiancé pushed me out of the way as the guard picked the guy up and physically pushed him past us and into the arms of a state cop.

Have you ever seen a grown man be picked up by his armpits and literally thrown? We could see the look on his face go from, “I’m going to kick this guy’s a**,” to, “I f***ed up.”

The rest of the show went on without any issues, but seriously, what did he think was going to happen?