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    X-Bong

    | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

    (A customer comes in carrying the box for an original Xbox.)

    Customer: “My Xbox isn’t working.”

    Coworker: “That’s no good. Pop it on the counter and we’ll have a look.”

    (The customer places the box on the counter. I’m standing nearby when my coworker opens the box. From the box emerges the most putrid smell you could ever imagine. My coworker has to jump back from the smell, holding his nose. Having known some ‘interesting’ people in my life though, I recognise the smell. I lean a bit closer to the box and sniff a few times.)

    Me: “Mate… did you spill your bong water on this?”

    Customer: *incredibly long awkward silence* “Yeah.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “…not replacing it then?”

    Me: “Not a chance.”

    (The customer left and I got to try to explain to my coworker why I knew the smell of bong water so well.)

    Consoling Himself With Lies

    | MI, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    (An older man comes in, looking perplexed.)

    Me: “Sir, was there something I could help you find?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to get a PS3 but don’t have enough money. How much would I get for my Xbox?”

    Me: “Is it an original Xbox, or an Xbox 360?”

    Customer: “It’s just an Xbox 2.”

    (I show him what the original Xbox and the Xbox 360 looks like.)

    Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s the Xbox 2!”

    Me: “I’m sorry but I don’t know what that is, so we cannot accept it on trade.”

    (At this point he is clearly getting frustrated.)

    Customer: “Well, do you take the PS2 or the Wii on trade?”

    Me: “Yes, right now the original PS2 goes for $15 and the newer, slim model goes for $20. The Wii’s currently go for around $70.”

    Customer: “Well good, ’cause you ain’t gettin’ mine!”

    (He snickered to himself and left, convinced he had an Xbox 2.)

    Not A Game To Some People

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (I work at a video game store. Lots of random people wander in, especially people from the nail salon across the hall. One day an old lady walks in.)

    Me: “Could I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have any used Josh Groban CDs?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not. You’d want to check the used CD/DVD store up the road for something like that.”

    Customer: *astonished by this revelation* “Then what the h*** is all this s***?!”

    Me: “Umm, video games. This is a game store.”

    Customer: “Video games? What the h*** has the world come to?!”

    (She gave a look of disapproval, and left angry.)

    Customers Like To Give You A Pizza Their Dirty Mind

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I and two other coworkers are on break in back room, having some pizza, when another coworker comes to grab some pizza. Everyone else is already sitting down and eating so he remains standing, eats some, and exclaims:)

    Coworker: “This is sooo good. I could eat this every day.”

    (After which I hear someone add on to that saying:)

    Passer By: “Just like sex.”

    (Everyone else continues eating and doesn’t say anything, until my coworker standing at the table asks:)

    Coworker: “Did anyone else hear that guy?”

    Me: “Yeah, the one that said ‘just like sex’?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I thought I was the only one who heard him.”

    Me: “That’s what I thought, too.”

    (We burst out laughing, then promptly close the doors so random creepers would stop eavesdropping or contributing creepiness.)

    His Behavior Is Not Up To Scratch

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I’m ringing up a customer who is purchasing a replacement copy for a game that stopped working.)

    Customer: “Yeah, this game just stopped working. It looks fine, though.”

    Me: “We can get you another, but let me see if we can trade the defective copy towards the new copy.”

    (I look the disc over, which has been scratched beyond belief, the is even marks around the center of the disc as if someone were trying to carve circles around it with a razor, but didn’t have a steady hand.)

    Me: “It looks like someone intentionally scratched it to a point where it is not repairable.”

    Customer: “That’s fine, we bought it at another store a week ago.”

    Me: “We won’t be able to exchange it, if something like that happens to this copy.”

    (I grab our last copy of the game for him, which he inspects.)

    Customer: “Why would you even try to sell this. This looks like garbage.”

    Me: “Sir, there’s just a fingerprint on it. It’s in far better condition than the one you had.”

    Customer: “Well, you’d best find another one, because I won’t buy this.”

    (After cleaning the fingerprint off and replacing the disc back in this case he purchased it and left. He returned a week later with a copy in the same condition as the one he was originally replacing. Turns out his kid was carving into the discs with a knife, and he had brought the kid in to make him pay $50 for the last copy, and pay his father back by trading his other games. Sweet justice.)

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