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  • They’re Back In Action

    | MI, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Technology

    (A lady and her son come into the store I work at and promptly approached the counter to inquire about a certain item.)

    Me: “How’s it going? Were you looking for anything tonight?”

    Mother: “Yeah, my son, he needs the back to a P3.”

    Me: *assuming she means PS3 parts* “Sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t sell parts here. You’d have more luck taking it up the road to another store to be repaired or checking online for it. ”

    Mother: “NO, I need THE BACK to the P3.”

    Me: “Did you need one of the cables that plug into the back? Like a power cable that plugs into the wall or the video cables that go from the back of the PS3 to the TV?”

    Mother: “NO. I JUST NEED THE BACK.”

    Me: *showing her the power and AV cables* “Is this what you’re looking for?”

    Mother: “No, did you find it yet?”

    (Her son who was going through the PS3 accessories on display ever since they walked in, begins yelling:)

    Son: “Look, Ma! The back! I found the back to the P3!”

    (Lo and behold it was the first set of AV cables I showed the mother at the counter.. They left exclaiming how exciting it was to find the back of their PS3 they needed so they could use it again.)

    A Chequered Credit History

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (We had just stopped taking checks the day before. A customer walks in, and starts writing a check.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t accept checks. You can pay with cash, or a debit or credit card.”

    Customer: “Do you know who I am? My family has owned ALL of the pharmacies here in town for the last hundred years!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Our system won’t allow checks. You’ll have to pay with another option.”

    Customer: “My family has more money than this whole mall!”

    (The customer then pulls out a credit card to pay.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Your card was declined.”

    (The customer walked out of the store without saying another word.)

    He’s Just Been KO’d

    | Dearborn, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m shopping at my local major games retailer, where the staff and I have an excellent relationship. I am finishing up my transaction when I hear a 12ish-year-old boy convincing his mother to buy him ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts.’)

    Kid: “But Mom, all my friends are playing it! They’re already making fun of me because it took me so long to get a PS4!”

    Mom: “Okay, okay… and you’re sure this isn’t a bloody or inappropriate game? I don’t like the look of the soldier on the front. I don’t want you playing anything like that Grand Theft whatever game.”

    Kid: “Oh, my god, Mom. I’m not a little baby anymore! Just get me the d*** game!”

    (Seeing the looks of apprehension and dread on the faces of the two guys behind the counter, as they now have the unhappy task of explaining to the mother of this brat why she shouldn’t buy it, I step in.)

    Me: “Miss, you should know that game is horribly violent and gory. It depicts lots of blood, war scenes, even an enhanced interrogation scene where you slowly kill a man for information. It’s something you’ll want to consider before buying it for your son.”

    Mom: “Oh, my gosh! [Kid], is this true?!”

    Kid: “No, Mom. He’s lying! He’s just some random fat guy!”

    (At this little insult, I decide to really ruin the kids day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you familiar with the MPAA’s movie rating system? Like how they rate movies based on their content? Well there’s a similar body called the ESRB, and they rate all major video game releases for their content.”

    (I show her their emblem on the back along with the description for their rating.)

    Me: “They even have a website where you can look up more specific details on each game. It’s a good way to research them.”

    Mom: “Oh, wow… Thank you so much. Can I trouble you to recommend a game for him?”

    (At this point, the kid is jumping up and down in frustration, making a scene, yelling at his mother, and calling me a liar. We choose a game and the mom questions the staff.)

    Mom: “I’m in here all the time. Why have you never told me about this rating system?! That’s pretty irresponsible not to inform the parents.”

    Employee #1: “Honestly, ma’am, we didn’t know you were buying it for a kid. We would’ve mentioned it if we knew.”

    Mom: “Of course I bought it for my child! Honestly, what sort of adult plays these stupid games?”

    Employee #2: “Me, my associate, the gentleman who helped you, and everyone who works at this store, to name a few.”

    (The mom goes red and pays for the game.)

    Mom: *on their way out* “When we get home, young man, I’m looking up all your games on this ESRB thing!”

    Kid: “NO! DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S JUST A F****** FAT A**!”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 7

    | Derby, England, UK | At The Checkout, Technology, Underaged

    (I have recently started working part time at a locally-run video game store while I’m studying Law at the college. We have just gone over Statutory Instruments in class. A customer who looks about 14 walks in, picks up a copy of GTA 5, and walks to the counter.)

    Customer: “Just this game, mate.”

    Me: “Thats £40. Can I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “You can just let it slide, right? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen to you? I’m clearly 18 and just forgot my ID.”

    Me: “Actually, selling age restricted goods to a minor is a statutory offence under the Children and Young Persons Act 1933 where the owners of this shop would be liable for prosecution. All that needs to be proved is that you bought the game and we are liable. I would lose my job and this place would more than likely shut down, so that’s the ‘worst that could happen.’”

    Customer: “…So, is that a no?”

    Me: “A large no.”

    Customer: *runs out the door*

    Manager: *to me* “I’m glad we chose you over the other guy!”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
    Grand Theft Innocence

    The Difference Between Father And Son

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer comes into my video game store with his teenage son in tow.)

    Customer: “Hi, I bought this game yesterday. The guy who was here said that if I changed my mind, I could come back and exchange it for another game.”

    (I notice the game has not only been opened but actually played.)

    Me: “Okay, but you played this game.”

    Customer: “Yeah, so?”

    Me: “Well, usually exchanges are when the game hasn’t been played.”

    Customer: “Well, the guy yesterday didn’t say anything about that! I want to talk to the manager. He said I could just exchange it if we didn’t like it! I just want the other game.”

    Me: “Fine, just pick out the other game you wanted.”

    (The customer goes to shelf, pulls out the other game, and brings it back. I notice the game he’s returning is $15, while the other game is $20. I ring up the difference.)

    Me: “That will be $5.35, please.”

    Customer: “What? Why?”

    Me: “$5.35 is the difference plus tax between the two games. The game you bought yesterday is $15, while this game is $20. The difference is $5 plus tax.”

    Customer: “No! The guy yesterday didn’t say anything about paying MORE for exchanging the game!”

    (As the customer says this, his son looks down uncomfortably.)

    Me: “You can’t exchange a $15 item for a $20 item without paying the difference.”

    Customer: “I’m not paying extra! He said I could exchange this one for the other one! He didn’t say anything about paying more.”

    Me: “Sir, you can pay the $5 plus tax difference and take the new game, or you may keep the game you have already bought and played. Or, I can call mall security, and have you removed.”

    Customer: *hands over the cash and departs*

    Customer’s Son: “Sorry!”

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