You’ll Want To Be Sitting Down For This One

(I’ve spent eight hours flying, and am looking forward to finally arriving at my destination. I use a personal wheelchair to get from gate to gate, which means I leave it when I board the plane each time, and it should be waiting for me as I exit. It’s not there when I arrive. I ask the crewmember overseeing the strollers and other gate-checked luggage:)

Me: “Um, sir? Where’s my wheelchair?”

Crewmember: “Oh! That was yours?”

Me: *panicking now* “Yes! What happened?”

Crewmember: “Well, this old lady was having so much trouble walking, we thought it must be hers! She’s being taken to… well, probably wherever her next flight is, or maybe home.”

Me: “But I have a luggage tag! I put a tag on it! You were supposed to check it!”

Crewmember: “Well, I guess we can try to track her down.”

Me: “My wheelchair costs $1,500 and I can’t function without it!”

Crewmember: “Let me call for a transport wheelchair for you. My coworker will be able to help you catch up to her.”

(I panic more as I wait, because the longer it takes, the more likely I’ll never see my chair again. Finally, his coworker arrives.)

Coworker: “Hello, ma’am. I understand you need help finding someone in the airport?”

Me: “He gave away my wheelchair and now she’s God knows where!”

Coworker: “No problem. We’ll track her down in no time.”

(Surprisingly, we do. I’m so relieved. The lady and I switch wheelchairs, and she goes on her way. Before the coworker leaves, I ask him one final question.)

Me: “Don’t you want to check my luggage tag to make sure everything’s right this time?”

Coworker: “Nah! I’m sure you’ve got it!”

(He walked away as my jaw dropped to the floor. I did check it myself, at least!)