This happened when my brother and his 3 kids were staying with us for a week for a visit. We are lucky to have 2 full baths so I had set up all the guest toiletries in the 2nd bathroom for them to use.

When they arrived I showed them the bathroom they were supposed to use but instead they decided to use our bathroom. Not really the biggest deal so I had to move all the guest stuff to our bathroom. It wasn’t the best visit but after they left it was a mess.

Every. Single. Towel was wet and on our bathroom floor. Trash was tucked in random places all over the house. The bonus present was in the toilet. Right before my brother left he had dropped some “kids of at the pool” and clogged our toilet. The plunger was right there next to the toilet but he chose to leave it be with his poo overflowing.

(I’m a reasonably athletic guy with a muscular chest. My wife is bi)

We’re getting a little frisky on the bed and she starts grabbing at my chest. But she doesn’t want muscle.

Her: “There’s nothing there!”

Me: “There’s not supposed to be.”

I steer her hands towards her own chest but it’s no good. She says they don’t count.

“Sometimes I just want some titties!”

(I’m walking to the grocery store when I’m approached by the tiniest old lady I have ever seen. She waves me down as I pass her.)

Old Lady: “Excuse me, do you know where I can catch [Bus Line 1]?”

(We’re in a large city, and I have only been here for a few months. I only use [Bus Line 2], and don’t know for sure where the other line stops.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m new here. I think there’s a stop on Fifth Avenue.”

Old Lady: *looking affronted, like I just cussed her out* “Fifth Avenue?! We’re on Ninth Avenue! How am I supposed to walk all the way there?”

(Well, you asked!)

Old Lady: *still mad at me* “And I know there’s a stop here! I’ve ridden it before! Why would you tell me Fifth Avenue?”

(Again, you asked and I did my best to answer!)

Me: “Ma’am, as I said, I’m new here. If you step inside this shop here, the cashier can give you better directions.” *gestures to the store we’re standing in front of*

Old Lady: *looking unsure* “They can help me?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, they’ll know more about this than I do.”

Old Lady: “But why can’t you help me?”

Me: “Ma’am, I only use [Bus Line 2]. The people inside will help you.”

(She made a move like she wanted to grab me, I guess to keep me there, but I quickly side-stepped her and got out of there. Hey, I’d love to help you find your stop, but don’t go getting mad at me if I don’t have all the answers!)

(I’m studying dentistry in France. Like every 4th to 6th year students, I work at the dental clinic, which is split into different wards with different dental fields: surgery, emergencies, kids ward, etc. I have a love/hate relationship with the pediatric ward: on one hand, our professors mostly let us do everything we want without interruption (because you can’t really pause when you have a squirming kid in the chair), but on the other hand we get parents and kids like the ones in this story.
The other students and professors know me for not taking crap from anyone and saying it like it is.
Keep in mind I get patients and parents like this every day, this is just one of the worst ones to date. This takes place on the 27th of December. We work in pairs, and I have a 4th year student with me.)
Father: Her teeth hurt real bad! What’s going on?
(I check the girl’s teeth and all of them are destroyed by cavities – not an unusual sight here. I can also see she’s very stressed out and try to distract her. She’s about 7/8 yo, so naturally I talk about Christmas.)
Me: I see what the problem is… Tell me, [Patient], did you get anything nice for Christmas?
Patient: Yeah, candy!
(I get a “yeah, no shit” grin under my mask and turn to the father.)
Me: Well sir, she has cavities on every single tooth.
Father: Ah! Well, she has sensitive teeth, that’s why!
Me: Sensitive teeth get you only so far, sir. She just told me she got candy for Christmas, I’d consider that a problem. Sensitive teeth didn’t gift her candy.
Father: Oh, yeah, well, we stopped candy, starting yesterday evening! Now I’m gonna keep it locked up!
Me: Yeah, sure, but that’s not enough. First of all, if you wanna stop candy, as you say, you should stop buying it. If you don’t have any, she won’t get any, no matter how much she’ll beg for it. I don’t know why you’d buy it to then keep it locked up. However, the damage is already done.
(With my mirror, I show him his daughter’s teeth. I can’t emphasize how much of a mess it is.)
Father, with a hint of pride in his voice: Ah, well, at least her sister has less cavities!
Me: How old is she?
Father: Four.
Me: So if she has less cavities, she still has some! She’s four, for crying out loud! It’s not OK! Having cavities is 100% avoidable, and there’s no line like “oh, having less than 3 is ok, I’m still in the green zone”, no! The norm isn’t 1, it isn’t 3, it isn’t less than 7, it’s 0! Especially at this age! How often does [Patient] brush her teeth?
(I can see the father looking embarrassed, so I ask the kid. I get an answer that basically equates to “never”, something like “oh, once a month”. This isn’t surprising.)
Me: See sir, the problem isn’t “sensitive teeth”. The problem is “not brushing her teeth and eating candy”. My brother actually has a disorder that causes him to have “sensitive teeth” and he has no cavities. He also eats candy, but he brushes his teeth twice or thrice a day. Now, I’ll show her how to brush her teeth properly, but you’ll have to make sure she does it, or else…
(The father interrupts me to tell me something along the lines of “oh but these are baby teeth”. It’s one of the answers I hate the most. I’ve actually had a parent think cavities on baby teeth worked like a vaccine on adult teeth.)
Me: Sir, that’s no excuse! First of all, look at her X-ray. Do you see this? This is an infection. This means her jaw is quite literally rotting. That’s what’s hurting her. If left unchecked, if can also damage the adult tooth you can see right next to it. Also, if she doesn’t brush her teeth now, when do you think she’ll start brushing them? When do the good habits start? At 15? 20? 35? I’m telling you, no later than two weeks ago, I delivered a set of complete dentures to a 24yo. That’s what’s gonna happen to her. Now, as I was saying, I’ll show her how to properly brush her teeth, but you have to make sure she does it at least twice a day. You must also do it with her sister, or else I’ll see her in 3 years with the exact same mouth.
(I proceeded to drill proper instructions into the child’s and parent’s head, hoping it would be worth something. When they left, the 4th year student who was assisting me looked at me with wild eyes.)
Student: Man, you really scared him. You were so…
Me: Mean? Have you see that kid’s teeth? At some point, I have to be mean! That’s child abuse! If I don’t scare him, he won’t do anything. Do you think I care about his feelings? It’s the first time you’ve ever seen me work, but that’s a daily thing with me. I’m the bane of bad parents’ existence.
(I have already reported many parents to the authorities for child abuse. Not him though, because her teeth were, for the most part, salvageable. I only report extreme cases where we have to remove ALL the teeth of, like, 3/4yo children.
Make sure you brush your kids’ teeth, no matter how much they protest. As I said, cavities are absolutely 100% avoidable.)

Customer, returning his rental car: We had a heck of a time trying to figure out how to lay the back seat down to fit our luggage in. You guys should have a little printed paper in the cars that tell you about all the little features and tricky things.
My manager, who was assisting with his check-in: That’s a very good idea and one the manufacturers have already thought of. All of the vehicles have a users manual in the glove box.