[I’ve been at my job for about six months. I get along with all the coworkers I’ve met, although I’ve noticed they don’t always get along with each other. In particular, my direct supervisor does a lot of grumbling about people’s work ethics and inability to show up on time – or at all, since a lot of people call out frequently. One day I arrive and he’s in a grumpy mood, working on a project. I start handling the register and after a few minutes all the customers are gone. Then he suddenly speaks.]

Supervisor: You know something, [My Name]? I’m always so happy when I see that you’re the cashier scheduled for my shift.

Me: Really?

Supervisor: Yeah. I know you’re going to actually show up, and I know you’re going to actually do your job when you do!

[Oddly, his mood improved after that outburst.]

(Me and my dad are in the car, discussing a movie that we saw last night. I was 10 or so at the time and pretty stupid.)

Me: “When that guy killed his own father, it was so scary and cool.”

Dad: “Yes, he committed the greatest sin, to kill your own father.”

Me: “What’s so bad about that? What if he’s a bad dad like that guy’s was?”

Dad: “E-even so!” *stare*

(He made sure to keep an eye on me since. At first I was confused as to why, and then I realized. Haha.)

When my sons (I have twins who are now 30 years old) were much younger, my wife had an aunt who owned a summer cottage on a lake in Palmer, MA, and she would let any family use it, provided someone wasn’t already there. We happened to be staying there for a week, and we were playing a baseball game in the water. One of my sons was pitching, my other son was at bat, and I was catching (without a glove). Just as my son was about to pitch the ball (a tennis ball), my wife yelled from the porch of the house that lunch was ready. I turned my head towards my wife, and my son happened to throw the tennis ball as hard and as fast as he could, and it connected with me in my groin. My other son still at bat said to his brother, “come on, throw the ball.” I responded as best as I could, “he already did”. My son at bat turned around and figured out what had happened with the ball with me. My wife saw all this from the porch, and was laughing just about as hard as she could. We all ended up agreeing though that if we had videoed it, we possibly could have won the $100,000 grand prize on the tv show America’s Funniest Home Videos.

(My partner and I are sitting on the large bean bag I use instead of a bed, and this interaction takes place.)
Me: Hey babe?
Him: Yeah?
Me: Since I missed your birthday celebration, could I take you to [Local Sushi Restuarant] to make it up to you?
Him: Aww, babe, don’t worry about it.
Me: Okay. I love you.
*A couple seconds pass*
Him: But yes, that would work.
(Cue both of us bursting into laughter)

(We are sharing out some things in science class about traits when a boy, known as a nerd, mentions the word recessive. The following ensues.)
Teacher: Where did you get the word recessive
Boy: Recessive
(Cue giggles from everyone. I manage to say this is between giggles.0
Me: No! Where did you get that word
Teacher: *Not hearing me* I know that I said where did you get it
Boy:*embaresed* Oh sorry. I read it somewhere
Teacher: Thank you