(I am working as a cashier in a fast food restaurant, and a customer has been yelling at me because I won’t take his expired coupon. I’m new to the establishment and I’m on the verge of tears. Suddenly, another customer intervenes.)

Customer #2: “You heard the lady! That is not going to work, so leave her alone!”

([Customer #1] turns around as if to lash at him, realizes [Customer #2] is way taller than him and scoots away without another word. [Customer #2] seems angrier than one would expect.)

Me: “Thanks for that, really.”

Customer #2: “My pleasure. The thing is that my daughter’s first job was at [Similar Establishment], and she learned a lot about responsibilities and finances. Do you know what I learned?”

Me: “Uhh… what?”

Customer #2: “I learned that you haven’t felt true fury until the day your little girl comes home crying because some jerk yelled at her on her first day.”

(Customers who care are truly the best.)

Me: “Hey, can I have a veggie burger, plain? Just cheese, please.”

Worker: “A veggie burger… with just cheese? Um, okay.”

(I get my food, open it up, and my “burger” is just a single slice of cheese between two buns.)

Me: “Um, hi, I wanted a veggie burger?” *shows bun*

Worker: “Yeah, but you wanted just cheese.”

Me: “Well, I mean I didn’t want condiments or the lettuce and stuff, but I still want the veggie burger.”

Worker: “If you don’t want the lettuce and tomato, there’s nothing left. Just cheese.”

Me: “Oh, no, you have an item on your menu, see?” *points* “It’s an actual patty, like a hamburger patty, but instead of hamburger it’s soy and veggies and stuff.”

Worker: “Oh, I thought you just wanted, like, lettuce and stuff. We have a veggie patty?”

Me: “Yeah. It’s shaped like a hamburger patty and looks like a hamburger patty and cooked like a hamburger patty.”

Worker: “Okay, just a moment.”

(I get my burger and it’s an actual hamburger with vegetable toppings on it.)

Me: “Can someone help you with this? I get this from this location once or twice a month so someone in the kitchen should know of it.”

(The worker shuffles to the back and then comes back up front.)

Worker: “Okay, it will be ready soon.”

(It finally came out with the veggie patty but also with all the condiments and toppings on. At this point, after almost 30 minutes of being there, I just scraped it all off and used the dry bun and cheese from the original “burger” she had given me but never took back.)

(I am with my friend going through the drive-thru of a popular fast food chain when they mess up part of the order. I go back inside to correct it when the following happens. Note: several police officers are inside, waiting for their food.)

Me: “Hi! I just came through the drive-thru and noticed that we’re short a sandwich. Here’s the receipt.”

Cashier: *rudely* “All the food you ordered is in the bag. Have a nice day.”

Me: “But it’s not. We ordered four [Popular Sandwich], but only three are in there.”

Cashier: “You think I’m stupid? You’re just trying to get free food!”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Cashier: *snappy* “What?”

Me: “Do you really believe I’d be dumb enough to try and steal from you with three police officers standing behind me?”

Cashier: *stuttering* “I…  But… Okay, fine.”

(I got the missing sandwich, but needless to say, I’ve yet to go back to that particular location. One of the officers even high-fived me!)

(My family is eating out for an early Christmas Eve lunch, and my sister, who is visiting from Ohio, begins talking about her neighborhood.)

Sister: “Yeah, did you know that you’re not allowed to have more than two llamas in your backyard?”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Crap, I’ll have to return your Christmas present, then.”

Sister: “What?”

Me: “Nothing…”

(On my lunch break I go through the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant. They are promoting a new chicken sandwich with ranch dressing and lettuce. I don’t care for lettuce and am not in a ranch mood, so I order it plain. When I get my food I pull into a parking spot to check everything out and make sure it is right. I didn’t even have to unwrap the sandwich to see it is dripping ranch and covered in lettuce shreds. I take it inside the restaurant and walk up to the cashier. Note, there is absolutely no one else in the restaurant, and the cashier looks about 16 or 17 years old.)

Me: “Hey, I just came through the drive-thru and got a messed up order. Can I get it fixed?”

Cashier: “What’s the matter with it?”

Me: “I ordered the chicken sandwich plain, but it came completely dressed.”

Cashier: “Well, it comes with ranch and lettuce.”

Me: “I know that, but I didn’t want any of that on there. That’s why I ordered it plain.”

Cashier: “But the sandwich is supposed to have ranch and lettuce on it. You ordered the chicken sandwich. See on the menu? It says ranch and lettuce. You can even see it in the picture.”

Me: *losing my patience at this point* “Yes. I understand that’s how it usually is made. I do not want that. I want it plain. As in bun and chicken. Nothing else. How hard is that to understand?”

Cashier: “I’m going to get my manager; maybe he can explain it to you.”

(She came back in a minute with an older man who asked what the problem was. I explained I ordered a plain sandwich and got a dressed one instead, and the cashier didn’t seem to understand the concept. He rolled his eyes and put his hand over his face and said “For the love of God, how many times do we need to discuss this? People can order food plain if they want to! Ma’am, I’m so sorry. She’s an idiot…”)