Plainly Not Explaining Plainly Enough, Part 2

(On my lunch break I go through the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant. They are promoting a new chicken sandwich with ranch dressing and lettuce. I don’t care for lettuce and am not in a ranch mood, so I order it plain. When I get my food I pull into a parking spot to check everything out and make sure it is right. I didn’t even have to unwrap the sandwich to see it is dripping ranch and covered in lettuce shreds. I take it inside the restaurant and walk up to the cashier. Note, there is absolutely no one else in the restaurant, and the cashier looks about 16 or 17 years old.)

Me: “Hey, I just came through the drive-thru and got a messed up order. Can I get it fixed?”

Cashier: “What’s the matter with it?”

Me: “I ordered the chicken sandwich plain, but it came completely dressed.”

Cashier: “Well, it comes with ranch and lettuce.”

Me: “I know that, but I didn’t want any of that on there. That’s why I ordered it plain.”

Cashier: “But the sandwich is supposed to have ranch and lettuce on it. You ordered the chicken sandwich. See on the menu? It says ranch and lettuce. You can even see it in the picture.”

Me: *losing my patience at this point* “Yes. I understand that’s how it usually is made. I do not want that. I want it plain. As in bun and chicken. Nothing else. How hard is that to understand?”

Cashier: “I’m going to get my manager; maybe he can explain it to you.”

(She came back in a minute with an older man who asked what the problem was. I explained I ordered a plain sandwich and got a dressed one instead, and the cashier didn’t seem to understand the concept. He rolled his eyes and put his hand over his face and said “For the love of God, how many times do we need to discuss this? People can order food plain if they want to! Ma’am, I’m so sorry. She’s an idiot…”)