In A Vegetative State

Me: “Hey, can I have a veggie burger, plain? Just cheese, please.”

Worker: “A veggie burger… with just cheese? Um, okay.”

(I get my food, open it up, and my “burger” is just a single slice of cheese between two buns.)

Me: “Um, hi, I wanted a veggie burger?” *shows bun*

Worker: “Yeah, but you wanted just cheese.”

Me: “Well, I mean I didn’t want condiments or the lettuce and stuff, but I still want the veggie burger.”

Worker: “If you don’t want the lettuce and tomato, there’s nothing left. Just cheese.”

Me: “Oh, no, you have an item on your menu, see?” *points* “It’s an actual patty, like a hamburger patty, but instead of hamburger it’s soy and veggies and stuff.”

Worker: “Oh, I thought you just wanted, like, lettuce and stuff. We have a veggie patty?”

Me: “Yeah. It’s shaped like a hamburger patty and looks like a hamburger patty and cooked like a hamburger patty.”

Worker: “Okay, just a moment.”

(I get my burger and it’s an actual hamburger with vegetable toppings on it.)

Me: “Can someone help you with this? I get this from this location once or twice a month so someone in the kitchen should know of it.”

(The worker shuffles to the back and then comes back up front.)

Worker: “Okay, it will be ready soon.”

(It finally came out with the veggie patty but also with all the condiments and toppings on. At this point, after almost 30 minutes of being there, I just scraped it all off and used the dry bun and cheese from the original “burger” she had given me but never took back.)