A Revolt From The Blue

, | Working | July 11, 2012

(I have dyed my hair blue. Despite a lot of positive customer feedback on my looks, my boss hates it. Note: I’m the only employee who speaks English, and it’s tourist season.)

Boss: “The supervisors are having a surprise check up any minute. You better get into the back right now. Mop the storage room or something. Go!”

(I grab the mop and go to the back, but accidentally walk straight into the supervisors who have decided to take the back entrance.)

Supervisor #1: “You work here? That’s so cool! Your hair is so pretty!”

(My boss runs in to the storage room when he hears the supervisors voices, but hasn’t heard their compliments.)

Boss: “She is new! She knows nothing! My assistant hired her, not me!”

Supervisor #2: “We just told her how we love her hair. It’s refreshing to see that people don’t judge employees by their looks anymore. ”

Boss: *stunned* “Y-yes, of course. We are very…proud.” *turns to me* “Could you please go to the front? We…uh…have a lot of tourists coming in.”

Me: “Oh, but, sir, I’m new, and according to YOUR regulations I’m not allowed to work the register without proper training. I’ll finish the clean-up so you can get back to your business.”

Boss: *looks terrified and walks away*

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Do As I Scream, Not As I Do

, | Working | July 10, 2012

(Note: My restaurant has a policy to give out the restroom key to paying customers only. This is to reduce how often we have to clean up blood, drug paraphernalia, and, on occasion, corpses.)

General Manager: *to a customer exiting the bathroom* “WHO GAVE YOU THE KEY?”

New Coworker: “Um, I did. Was I not supposed to?”

(The General Manager continues to shout at the new coworker in front of all the customers—including the one who had just left the bathroom.)

General Manager: “Why would you do that?! He could have been a drug addict shooting up in there, and then we would have to clean up after him! You never give the key to someone who’s not a customer! What is wrong with you?!”

(Later on, I take the new coworker aside.)

Me: “Look, [New Coworker], do you remember what I told you on your first day of training?”

New Coworker: “That [General Manager] is very intense sometimes?”

Me: “As you can see, that was probably the understatement of the century. Don’t let it get you down. It was my mistake for not telling you the policy when I trained you. You’re doing a great job.”

(The next day, I walk in to overhear my general manager yelling at another new coworker, but this time for NOT giving a bathroom key to a customer. It should be noted this other coworker had heard about the previous day’s incident, and, being new, was understandable afraid to give out the bathroom key. Again, my general manager is making no effort to keep the ‘discussion’ away from customers.)

General Manager: *to another coworker* “Why wouldn’t you give him the bathroom key?! He’s obviously NOT a druggie! He’s one of the builders from the construction site across the street who just needed to use the bathroom! That could be considered TORTURE! What is wrong with you?!”

(Later that day, after more damage control with the new coworkers, I see a customer stumble out of the restroom. This customer has been previously banned for leaving behind hypodermic needles, blood, and certain other bodily fluids.)

Me: *to the General Manager* “Isn’t that the guy we banned last week?”

General Manager: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “How did he get the bathroom key?”

General Manager: “He bought something, so I gave it to him! Go clean the bathroom!”

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Bun King Doesn’t Have The Same Ring

, | Working | July 7, 2012

(My family and I go to a fast food restaurant chain. It aptly has “Burger” in its name, as it sells mostly hamburgers and cheeseburgers.)

My Mother: “I will also need one burger.”

Cashier: “One what?”

My Mother: “One regular burger.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, we don’t sell burgers here.”

My Mother: *confused* “You don’t sell burgers here?”

Cashier: “No, we only sell cheeseburgers and hamburgers. No burgers!”

My Mother: *speechless*

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Would You Like Eyes With That

, | Working | June 29, 2012

(I’m the only customer eating at a fast food restaurant. One of the workers comes over and stands about six feet away from my table and stares at me. He stands there for thirty seconds before I speak up.)

Me: “Yes? Did you want something?”

Worker: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you staring at me?”

Worker: “Because I like watching you eat…”

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Time To Call It Quits

, | Working | June 26, 2012

(One night, we received two buses. However, we only had two people back in grill. Normally, front counter is supposed to help by sending their extras to the back in the grill and help, but this day we only had two. When this happens, it’s the manager on shift who is supposed to hop on the line to help.)

Coworker: “Get [manager’s name]. We need help with these orders.”

Me: “On it!”

(I go over and knock on the shift manager’s office door, which is open.)

Me: [Manager], we’re taking five sandwiches per order. Could we please get some help?”

Manager: *gives me a “in a moment gesture”*

(Not getting any help from the manager, I go back to the grill and assist my coworker. After the first bus, we get a second. This time, my coworker goes to ask for help from the manager.)

Coworker: “[Manager], we got another bus. Could you please come out an help?”

Manager: *closes his door and continues talking on the phone*

(My coworker and I manage to get all the orders done, but the two front counter people are furious and storm into the back.)

Front Counter #1: *knocks on the door*

Manager: “What?”

Front Counter #1: “Who the h*** were you talking to!?”

Manager: “My friend’s in town, and we were catching up.”

Front Counter #2: “Didn’t you hear them calling for help!? We had two buses!”

Manager: “They didn’t ask for it.”

Front Counter #1: “Bulls***! I saw them! You were too busy sitting on your a** talking away on a personal call!”

Manager: “You can’t talk to me like that! I can have you two fired! Now, either start showing respect, or get out!”

(It’s worth noting that Front Counter #1 is the son of the manager’s boss. Fed up, both front counter people silently got their coats and walked out, effectively closing the store for the night. Thankfully, one week later, the manager was fired.)

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