(I work at an auto parts store in a small town in the Appalachian foothills. I am talking to an elderly customer.)

Customer: “I need a starter for my 1990 Plymouth Acclaim.”

Me: “Alright. There were two different starters used on that car. One was made by Bosch, and the other was made by Mitsubishi. Do you know which one your car has?”

Customer: “No. I don’t. I’ll have to find out.”

Me: “Well, it’s okay. They will both work interchangeably. Just be aware that they do look completely different from each other, The one I sell you might look different, but it will still fit and work fine. It looks like the Mitsubishi starter is less expensive, so I’ll grab that one for you. Okay?”

Customer: “Now hold on a second. I don’t want no Mitsubishi anything! Don’t you know? Japan was against us in World War II!”

Me: “Alright, sir. I’ll get you the German-made Bosch starter.”

Customer: “Now, that’s better!”

(On the day before Father’s Day, with a huge sale going on, the coworker who is supposed to come in to work with me doesn’t show up. I am swamped and can’t answer any phone calls. I just stay at the counter ringing people up. We are so busy that I don’t have time to call any of my coworkers to see if they can come in to cover the shift. There is only about half an hour until two other coworkers are coming in, so I just do my best until then. With a line about ten customers long, a customer comes storming up to the register and interrupts the conversation I’m having with the customer currently at my register.)

Customer: “I need some help! Where is the employee who should be working the sales floor right now?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but no one else is here right now. If you’ll kindly wait in line, I’d be glad to help you shortly.”

Customer: “What?! This is outrageous! You should have more than one person working! Everyone knows that is just good business!”

Me: “Unfortunately, there was a scheduling mix-up. I’m the only one here right now.”

Customer: “But I need one of you to help me find something! What am I supposed to do? That’s what you all get paid to do! I am very busy and I need to get my Father’s Day gifts bought! I don’t have all day! Really, on a holiday, you should have more than one person working!”

(Since the customer isn’t listening to me, I just turn back to serving the line at the counter. I finish the next customer, and try to explain the schedule issue again, but she’s not having any of it. One of our regular customers is standing nearby at a sale table and finally speaks up.)

Regular Customer: “Ma’am, what is wrong with your hearing? She just explained to you that her coworker didn’t show up! I think she’s doing a remarkable job handling all of this by herself. You are just making things worse!”

Customer: “All I need is to see if they have these items in stock! Can’t she see I am in a hurry?”

Regular Customer: “As are most of us. It’s a busy holiday at a popular store. What do you expect? When people don’t show up to do their jobs it makes it harder on the rest of their coworkers, especially when there’s only one other person working!”

Customer: “But—”

Regular Customer: “Now, I don’t work here, but I shop here often. In favor of giving everyone in line and this poor employee a break, I’m going to help you find what you need. But only so you leave us all alone!”

(I thank the regular and the two disappear into the back of the store. The customers in line make some comments. A moment later, the original customer storms to the front and out the door. I turn to the regular customer as she returns.)

Me: “What happened?”

Regular Customer: “You didn’t have the item she wanted. Her sale flyer was for the bookstore down the street.”

(I work as a sales associate for an electronics store in a mall. Another sales associate gets a new job and peacefully quits this job, leaving his name badge behind. A couple days later, just for fun, I put his name badge on and begin helping customers normally. My manager gets a chuckle out of this, but lets me continue. Over time, I forget I have the wrong name badge on. The next day, a customer comes in that I talked to the previous day. I approach her wearing my name badge.)

Me: “Hello. Welcome to [Electronics Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I was talking with [Former Employee] yesterday and I would like to get more information on a product before I buy it. Is he in?”

(I look over at my manager standing at the end of the counter. He is listening to the exchange and looks back at me with wide eyes. I give him a smile.)

Me: “Sure! I’ll go get him.”

(I go to the office. I put on the former employee’s name badge, then go back to the sales floor.)

Me: “Welcome back, ma’am! How can I help you?”

(The customer begins asking me questions about a product as if I was a different person. I try to keep a straight face while my manager, now hunched over the counter, is erupting in laughter. Eventually, I answer all the customer’s questions. She buys the product and leaves, not once realizing I am the same person.)

(I work at an auto parts store. We are not certified to repair cars; we are just a retail shop. I do, however, let customers know that if a cashier feels they are able to help in any way that we will do so.)

Me: “Hello, there. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a headlight for my car.”

Me: “Okay. What is the year, make, and model?”

(The customer tells me the car. She pays, and then walks outside. I begin stocking shelves, when she comes back a few minutes later looking very angry.)

Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “Um… stocking shelves?”

Customer: “Why aren’t you helping me outside?!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you still needed help.”

Customer: “Who else is going to put my headlight in?!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we don’t normally do that, but I am willing to take a look to see if I can help you in any way.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON’T PUT IT IN!?”

Me: “I didn’t say that. I told you I will have a look.”

Customer: “Fine. Just do it!”

(I walk outside, and look at her car. As I feared I would have to remove the bumper and headlight assembly to replace her bulb. This is something I am not willing to risk my job for.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I can not assist you. I would have to remove your bumper and the headlight case to replace your bulb. I do not have the tools or experience to do this.”

Customer: “I don’t CARE. Just do it!”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Excuse me!?”

Me: “I said, no. I will not install your headlight.”

Customer: “Well, you need to—”

Me: “No. You NEED to listen. This is NOT a repair shop. I have been very nice to you and tried to help you to the best of my ability. Replacing your headlight requires more work than we are allowed to do by company policy. Now, if you would stop yelling at me, I will be more than happy to give you the number of a proper repair shop.”

Customer: “I… Yes. I’m sorry.”

(I gave her the number and name of a shop. I have seen her come in and, thankfully, she has been very pleasant ever since.)

(I work for a national electronics retail chain as a manager. I have one other employee working for me this night.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a new battery for my car’s remote.”

Me: “Okay. Let’s take a look.”

(The customer hands me the remote, I take it from her and quickly open it using a tool I keep on the counter. I find that the remote actually takes two button batteries, which is nothing unusual. I take them out and put them on the counter. I turn around and see I only have two left. I pull them off the rack, open one and put it in the remote. I go to open the second one and the customer stops me and snatches the still sealed battery out of my hand.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “It’s one of the batteries you need for your remote.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I show her the numbers on the old batteries and new ones match.)

Customer: “There’s two of them?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Where’s the other one?”

Me: *I point to the battery in the remote* “I already installed it.”

Customer: “I didn’t see you do that. Where did it come from?”

Me: *I pick up the now empty battery package* “I just installed it.”

Customer: “I want to see you install it.”

Me: “You want me to take it out and put it back in?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I take the new battery back out and put it back in.)

Customer: “NO! I want to see you open it!”

Me: “You want me to seal the package then open it again?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Ma’am, the packages come glued closed from the factory. I can’t re-seal it.”

Customer: “Then get another one!”

(At this point, I can tell the customer is going to be unreasonable but I do my best to keep my composure while my employee silently stands next to me observing.)

Me: “Ma’am, I only have two left. One is already in your remote and the other one is in your hand.”

Customer: “Listen to me you little p****! You don’t be condescending to me! Do what I tell you or I’m gonna complain to your f****** boss!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager and I am trying to help you. There’s no need for name calling.”

Customer: “DON’T YOU F****** TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU MORON! THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE THE BOSS HERE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERIOR!”

(At this point, the customer is unreasonably irate. I decide that $5 worth of batteries is not worth raising my blood pressure. I take out the new battery and re-install her old ones then close the remote.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “YOU PUT THE NEW ONES IN?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I put your old ones back in.”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

Me: “You are being overly difficult over something very basic. I have chosen to exercise my right not to serve you. Please leave my store.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO ME! I’M GONNA CALL YOUR CORPORATE OFFICE!”

Me: “I’ll be expecting to hear your complaint.”

(The customer storms towards the door.)

Employee: “Have a nice night, ma’am.”

Customer: “SHUT THE F*** UP!”

(The employee looks at me and smiles, dumbfounded by this ridiculous encounter. I then call my district manager and tell him about the encounter. He assures me he will stand behind my decision not to serve her. Minutes later, I go to the grocery store to get something to snack on and find the same woman standing in an aisle yelling at three managers of the grocery store.)