(For context, I work in a relatively small store. It would take you max 10 seconds to walk from one end to the other.)

Customer: “Do you have this in larger?” *she’s holding an XSP shirt*

Me: “We don’t have a large petite, but we might have large regular size. Would you like me to find it for you?”

Customer: “Mhm.” *she puts the shirt she’s holding on the nearest rack to her. This rack only has pants on it and isn’t in the petite section…*

(I find her the other shirt and bring it to her. She spends about 30 seconds looking at it before putting it on another random rack, this time one with only scarves hanging on it. I’m standing right next to her and would have happily taken it back. She meanders around the store for a bit before asking me to help her find a shirt that will go with two very different patterned scarves. One is bright yellow with purple flowers and the other is blue and white stripes and floral patterns. I show her a shirt; she disagrees with my opinion. She asks about a beige, pink, and yellow busy patterned shirt. I politely say that a solid color would be a better choice. I show her a solid color shirt instead, and she asks about the first shirt I showed her, acting like she’s never seen it before. This goes on for about three more repetitions of that process, all the while asking my opinion and immediately dismissing it. She eventually picks some random shirt, pays, and leaves.)

Me: *to new coworker* “And that’s what we like to call a ‘high maintenance’ customer.”

(I am the customer in the story. My mother and I are at a popular fast food chain waiting for our orders. It’s a busy day and there are around eight to ten customers after us. We notice that it’s taking a while for our food to come. When the employee comes up to the counter to hand us our drinks, she gives us a funny look.)

Employee: “Did you take your food, ma’am?”

Us: “No, we’re still waiting.”

(The employee looked confused and went in the back to ask where our meals were. Other customers were also inquiring about their orders. After ten minutes, the supervisor came out and asked if anyone was still waiting for their food. One customer just happened to mention a woman taking several bags with her when she left. The supervisor’s and the employees’ jaws dropped. It turned out that the woman had dashed off with about ten meals! Hers included!)

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I have pre-booked tickets to see ‘Mockingjay,’ bought popcorn and a slush drink, and am just waiting in line for my ticket to be checked.)

Clerk: “Are you sure you booked the right cinema? We’re not showing this film at nine pm.”

Me: “Oh! Well, I thought I did it right but that does sound like something I would do…”

Clerk: “I’ll check with my colleague.” *he goes to the colleague, smiles, and comes back* “Er, you’re a day early. Mockingjay isn’t released until tomorrow.”

(I am a cashier at a well-known buffet chain. A customer comes in and starts walking up the side of the front with no cashier.)

Customer: “This side is free.”

Me: “No, but I will gladly ring you up over here.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I am actually here to start a job.”

(The customer is in no way dressed to be one of our employees but I go to get a manager. anyway. when he stops me.)

Customer: “No, I’m not really. Three, please.”

(From there, things go normally. I ring him and his friends on one of his friend’s cards. They go on their way in. Not long after that, another family comes in with a service dog. I ring them through. After, the original customer comes up to me)

Customer: “Excuse me; I have a question for you.”

Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you guys allow dogs in here?”

(Knowing what dog he is talking about I give him a reply.)

Me: “Service dogs, yes.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want my money back.”

(Not wanting to argue, I proceed to call a manager to the front. The one who comes is our general manager, an ex-army man. I explain the situation to him and he goes to talk to the guy.)

Customer: “This is f****** bulls***! How can you allow dogs to be in a place where people eat?”

Manager: “Sir, first of all, watch your language; there are kids here. And second, we have to allow service dogs in here; it is the law.”

Customer: “It’s bulls***! What if the dog’s hair gets in the food?!”

Manager: “What if human hair gets in the food? Should I ban all humans?”

Customer: “Okay, well, what if I walk around barefoot?”

Manager: “You can’t. it’s not allowed.”

Customer: “But a dog can?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Customer: “So a dog has more rights than I do?”

Manager: “Yes, he does.”

Customer: “This is bulls***!”

(The customer then goes back to his table, but the manager has had enough, especially with the swearing, and goes and tells the guy he needs to leave, now. It is decided that since he hasn’t been here very long we will at least refund him his meal. When refunding meals back onto a card, most of the time the same card is required to be swiped again to put the money back. Luckily, since it is still so soon after he ate, it just reverses the charge.)

Customer: “Where’s my money?”

Me: “It is back on the card it was rung on, sir.”

Customer: “But where is my money?!”

Manager: “Sir, it is back on your friend’s card. You are not getting cash back.”

(The customer then started to leave, but not without telling everyone he passed that there was a dog in the building. Everyone in line either looked confused or just didn’t care.)

This story is part of our Service Animals roundup!

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(I frequently stop by Large Chain Store on my way home from work to grab a random item or dinner, and I don’t carry around a spare shirt to change into so I usually am in uniform. This night, a woman had been aggressively following me around the store for about 10 minutes screaming “excuse me!”)

Me: “Uh, can I help you?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I can’t believe it took you this long to acknowledge me! Where is your manager?”

Me: “Probably at home by now.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me! There has to be a manager on duty right now!”

Me: “No, the store closed about thirty minutes ago. My manager is definitely at home right now.”

(The lady looks genuinely confused.)

Customer: “Isn’t this store open 24 hours a day?”

Me: “It is, which is why I’m glad I don’t work here. Hope you find that rude [Large Chain Store] employee you are looking for.”

(I think at that point she finally noticed that my shirt had another company’s name in huge letters across the back. She left me alone.)