Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 4

I am serving a customer. One of our regulars is behind him.

Customer: “You’re taking too long to make my coffee!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. It’s a complicated order and I want to get it right.”

Customer: “Complicated?! A monkey could make it! Stop whining and hurry up! I’m late for a very important meeting! I’m a lawyer!”

I am hurrying as fast as I can. I hand him his drink and he takes a sip straight away. He ordered it extra hot, so I would not recommend this!

Customer: “This just burned my tongue! Didn’t you hear I was a lawyer?! I’m going to sue you and this place unless you make me another drink and get it right this time!”

At this point, my regular steps in.

Regular: “Oh, you’re a lawyer, too? What firm?”

Customer: “None of your business!”

Regular: “Oh, I’m just curious. You said twice, quite loudly, that you’re a lawyer. Me, too! Actually, I represent this store. Therefore, I’d like to know what firm you represent, just in case there are any conflicts of interest with existing cases.”

Customer: “Um…”

Regular: “As I am sure you’re aware — of course, you are; you’re a lawyer — that impersonating a lawyer or anyone within the legal system is a crime and can carry with it quite a hefty sentence.”

Customer: “Well… I…”

Regular: “So, what firm?”

The customer stares at my regular for a moment and then at me, and then, he suddenly decides his drink is okay and storms off with it.

Me: “Thanks, [Regular]! Although, unless you graduated and didn’t tell me, aren’t you only a law student?”

Regular: “One of the first things they teach you in law school: it’s not about what you know, it’s about what you can prove.”

His drink was on the house that day.

Related:
Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 3
Just Lawyered Yourself, Part 2
Just Lawyered Yourself