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If You Give Me Nothing, You Get Nothing

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 19, 2023

I work in the customer service center for a large convention center. I get a call from someone trying to get to us from the airport. It is my last day before leaving and going to college, and my patience for stupid has run out.

Me: “Okay, sir, if you’re at the airport, I need you to follow the signs to the freeway and take the lane heading to [City].”

Caller: “I can’t see anything.”

Me: “You can’t see the signs to the freeway?”

Caller: “I can’t see anything! You need to tell me where to go!”

Me: “You’re at the airport, right? What can you see?”

Caller: “No, I left the airport already! I’m driving! I can’t see anything! You need to tell me where to go!”

Me: “What can you see? What signs are you seeing as you drive?”

Caller: “No! There’s nothing! I can’t see anything! I need directions!”

Me: “Sir, please just look for any road sign or street name and—”

Caller: “No! Why aren’t you listening!? There is nothing! I can’t see anything! I’m just driving, but there’s nothing here! Give me directions and get me out of here!” 

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it sounds like you’ve left our dimension and are now driving through a void between realities. Please call back when you find yourself back in a recognizable manifold.” *Click*

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